The Light at the End of the Escape Route
by bann
Summary: Part three of the Escape Route series. The Jewel of Atlantis makes a comeback and the origin of the womens' powers becomes revealed.
1. Chapter 1

**The Light at the End of the Escape Route**

**A/N**: Hi everybody! Welcome to part three of the continuing Escape Route saga. That's right, this is a part three. If you want to read it alone, go for it, but no complaining if you don't understand what's going on. Nimeria (my co-author) and I recommend that you read parts one and two first. And as I just stated, Nimeria is my co-author. Yep, this is just as much hers as mine. We write this together via MSN messenger, hence the format and the irregularity of posting stories. (The irregularity of posting chapters is entirely my fault. College seems to make you lazier than the rest of the population. Heehee!) Please feel free to let us know what you think! - Bann and Nimeria

**Disclaimer**: Neither Nimeria nor I own anything that is mentioned, discussed, referred to in passing, or blatantly stated. We don't own any of the characters, and we don't own the settings. We do, however, own ourselves (and the third original character owns herself as well). If we did own them, we wouldn't be wasting our time writing fanfiction and going to school. Mostly because there would be this whole new galaxy to go play in, and all these really awesome people to meet. But just because we don't own them now doesn't necessarily mean that sometime in the near future that we won't! Stay tuned for more information on that front! And now, on to the chapter…

**Chapter 1**

(From their new quarters near the control room, early in the morning, comes one of those new and unusual sounds in Atlantis; that of Jessie squealing in delight.)  
Jessie: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Taylor! Mary! TaylorMary! Taylormarytaylormarytaylor!  
Taylor: (Coming from her room right next to Jessie's) Twin? What? Its early Jess... this had better be good...  
Jessie: Look!!!  
Taylor: What? Its boxes. (Jessie gestures) Boxes that say...oh my gosh! It's our stuff!   
Jessie: I know!  
Mary: (Who has come from her room, right next to Taylor's) Our stuff? Jack sent us our stuff? Sweet!  
Taylor: Heck Yeah! (Giggles) I bet I can unpack faster than either of you.   
Jessie: Can't!  
Mary: Hold on, first let's get our boxes...and, wait, Jess, got yours? And go!  
(In the midst of unpacking, Taylor makes a discovery.)  
Taylor: Duct tape? Jack...sent me Duct tape?  
Jessie: (Running into Taylor's room) Taylor! Guess what Jack sent me? (She holds out a bottle of glitter.)  
Taylor: He sent me duct tape.  
(Pause)  
Taylor and Jessie: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?  
Taylor and Jessie: Yes!  
Taylor and Jessie: Jinx!  
Taylor: Right, hide yours. I'll hide mine. Heehee…  
(A few moments later)  
Jessie: (Running from her room) DONE!  
Mary: (Walking from hers) Awww...me too. Well, second is better than last.  
Taylor: (Walking from her room as well) Which I guess is me.  
Mary: Well, winner? What do you have in mind?  
Jessie: Do you remember what you promised me?   
Mary: Who promised you something?  
Taylor: Promised what?   
Jessie: You, Taylor, to make me let go of Jack during the Kolya invasion thing.  
Taylor: (Thinks for a minute) Oh. That. You want to do that now?  
Jess: Yep.  
Mary: What was that again?   
Taylor: You don't remember?  
Mary: If the satanic look of glee on Jessie's face is any hint, I probably blocked it from my memory.   
Taylor: Probably. (She sighs, glances around the hallway and then leans in to Mary to explain in a whisper just in case someone comes along.)  
Mary: (Her eyes go wide.) I want nothing to do with this.   
Jessie: Aww, but you have to. I won.  
Mary: (Staring at her.) B-b-but I don't wanna.  
Taylor: You can just keep guard if you want. Oh. Actually that's a good idea. Shep and Ronon go running every morning.  
Jess: Wouldn't you want to see them?  
Taylor: Of course, but we need warning so we don't make noise, yes?  
Jess: Oh. Right. I got it. Please be our guard-san, Mary? Please?  
Mary: (Hangs her head) If you get caught, I'm going to kill you both.   
Taylor: So you'll do it then?  
Jessie: Yay!  
Taylor: Lead on, Jessie!  
(The two twins skip happily along, with Mary following.)  
---  
(Outside the men's locker room.)  
Taylor: Can anyone see us?  
Jessie: I don't see anyone.  
Mary: (Sighs) Yes, yes, go on. Get it over with. And I'll stand here. If someone guesses you're in there, I'll call you out.  
Taylor: Thanks Mary!  
(The twins go invisible.)  
Mary: (Listens very closely) You guys in there yet? (Pause) That's a yes. So here I am. Standing alone, outside the men's locker room. Yep. Nothing incriminating about this. Nothing at-  
Lorne: Good morning!  
Mary: Oh! Hi there.  
Lorne: You're up early...have plans for today?  
Mary: (Nervously laughs) Oh, yeah. Unless I get shot. Then I'm free.  
Lorne: (Laughs) Sounds like a plan. I'm just going to run in here for a minute. Talk to you later?  
Mary: Sure. (Lorne enters the locker room, and after a moment so do many marines.) Oh lord. This is so wrong. This IS wrong. Poor, poor naked sweaty men. Good lord I hope those two don't giggle. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna shoot them and I'm gonna die.   
(A little ways away, walking down the hallway…)  
Sheppard: What do you mean? Of course I'm improving. You only beat me by just under what you did last week.  
Ronon: Right.  
Sheppard: You're just scared because you know I'm going to beat you one day.  
(They walk up to the locker room door, where Mary is standing.)  
Shep: Uh, good morning. Isn't this early for you?  
Mary: Yes. Yes it is. You're about to go in the locker room aren't you?  
Shep: ...Yes.   
Mary: Trust me, and don't.  
Shep: Why?  
Mary: I can't tell you. Just...just don't. Please trust me on this one.  
Ronon: What's wrong with it?  
Mary: Nothing is wrong with the locker room. It's just...wait until...hmmm. Nope, that won't do. They're probably lying in wait for you. Hmm.  
Shep: What are you talking about?  
Mary: I'm saving your skin. Maybe even literally. Which is a scary thought.  
(She walks to the door of the locker room, opens it a crack, and shouts)  
Mary: Danger, Danger Will Robinson!   
(Pause)  
Random Guy In Locker Room: What?  
Mary: Nothing! Forget it! (She closes the door.)  
Shep: What on earth was that about?  
Mary: I'd imagine that once they get out, you'll know.   
(From out of the wall tumble a giggling Taylor and Jessie.)  
Ronon: What is this? (Taylor and Jessie's heads snap up. They see Ronon and Shep, and turn to stare at Mary in horror with the pained looks of the betrayed gracing their faces.)  
Taylor: How could you?  
Jess: Why would you?  
Taylor and Jess: You were the guard!!! (They take off, sprinting away)  
Shep: That was...(Looks at Mary) Aaah. Thanks.  
Mary: No problem. I'll be hearing about it for awhile but, well, you're welcome. (She heads off after Taylor and Jessie at a slower pace)  
Shep: So maybe she doesn't hate me after all.  
Ronon: Why would she hate you?  
Shep: She-(He stops as he realizes who he's talking to and what would result from him answering that question) Never mind, it's not important. Come on. (They head into the locker room)  
---  
(In the Mess Hall)  
(Taylor, Jessie, and Mary sit at one table. Taylor and Jessie are giving Mary unhappy looks while Mary tries to argue sense into them.)  
Mary: They aren't stupid and, warning or not, you would have giggled. You know you would have.  
Taylor: That's not the point. (She smashes her hand down on her muffin and squishes it, then looks down and blinks) Oops.  
(Thirty minutes later Sheppard and Rodney walk into the mess hall, talking, and abruptly stop when they hear the laughter. At the table sit Taylor, Jessie, and Mary, clutching their sides in giggle-related-agony. They walk over to Ronon, sitting at another table, where he is watching the three women.)  
Shep: What's going on?  
Ronon: I have no idea.  
Rodney: Well, how long have they been like that?  
Ronon: It's been getting worse since I got here.  
Shep: And you haven't asked what they're laughing about?  
Ronon: Nope.  
Shep: Well I am.  
Rodney: I'll join you.

(Ronon gets up and follows as well.)  
Shep: So, uh, what's so funny?   
(Taylor looks up, attempts to stifle the laughter long enough to answer, fails, and goes back to laughing.)  
Jessie: Oh, my side! My side! The abs can't take this abuse!  
Sheppard: Someone care to explain what's so funny?  
Mary: Oh, it's nothing about this morning. But Taylor was so angry, and she was gesturing, and-(Laughter)  
Rodney: ...And what?  
Jessie: That! (She points to a squashed muffin on a plate)  
Sheppard: That's funny?  
Taylor: The poor muffin was excommunicated. It's so sad. (More laughter from all three)  
Rodney: ...Why?  
Jessie: (Taking deep breaths) Why was it excommunicated or why is it sad?  
Rodney: Both. Neither. What?  
Taylor: (Laughs harder and rocks in her seat nearly falling out of it) Ack. Mary!!  
Mary: (Laughing harder as well) Some things never (Laughs, inhales, and is hit with another bout of laughter) change. (Reaches over and pulls the teetering Taylor upright again)  
Shep: I'm really confused here. (He sits anyway, albeit as far from the three young women as was acceptable. Ronon and Rodney do likewise and eat breakfast while waiting for the laughter to die down)  
(Fifteen minutes later)  
Taylor: (Finally calm) Oh, wow. (Wipes the tears from her eyes as Jessie and Mary do likewise) That was fun. Haven't done that in a long time.  
Mary: Nope.   
Jessie: Nuh-uh.  
Taylor: (rubbing her sides) That was definitely my sit-up quota for the week. Ow.  
Mary: You do sit-ups?  
Jessie: She doesn't.  
Taylor: It was a figure of speech.  
Mary: You just made it up.  
Taylor: So?  
Shep: (Cutting in) What exactly was so funny? You told us but we didn't understand.  
(Jessie starts to giggle again.)  
Mary: (Gesturing to the squashed muffin) Meet Mr. Muffin McMuffin. He, the poor soul, was minding his own business one day-  
Taylor: This morning.   
Mary: -and whilst sitting there, there happened to be a wandering giant roaming the land.  
Jessie: (Pointing to Taylor) Her hand.   
Mary: This wandering giant has no pity for carbohydrated foodstuffs, so went out of his way to squash Mr. McMuffin.  
(Taylor and Jessie make squashing motions with their hands.)  
Mary: Now, upon returning to his place of work, Muffin here found that the others looked upon him differently. He was, in a word, ostracized. Muffin McMuffin then went on daytime television, told his story to Dr. Phil Muffin, and was ostracized by the rest of the muffin community for meddling on talk shows. It's so very sad.  
Taylor: It is. It is. (She makes fake tear mark down her cheek as Jessie wipes fake tears from her eyes.)  
Mary: He went to church that Sunday to atone for his sins and ask the priest for advice on how to deal with this. The priest however told him that the smashing had been punishment for the sins he had not atoned for, and since it was such a supreme punishment, they could only see it as Mr. McMuffin having been excommunicated, so Father Muffinpants could no longer aid him in anyway.  
Jess: Thus, we were laughing because with a single thoughtless stroke of her fist, Taylor excommunicated a muffin and ruined its entire life.  
Rodney: You think that's funny?! (Surprised and slightly horrified)  
Shep: (Chuckling and trying to hold back the louder laughter) Very nice, ladies. A brilliant story.   
Rodney: (More horrified) You agree with them. (Turning to Ronon) Tell me you don't think that's funny.  
Ronon: What does 'excommunicated' mean?  
Jessie: It means that no one loves him anymore.  
(Mary laughs)  
Taylor: Poor little muffin, not getting any more muffin love...(Laughs as well)  
Rodney: It means, Ronon, that he, er, the muffin is exiled from the rest of the community...of other...muffins...  
Ronon: (To the girls) I still don't get it.  
Jessie: That's okay. I don't either.  
Shep: But you were laughing.  
Jessie: And?  
Rodney: (Peering at the remains of what used to be a muffin of good standing in its community) What kind of muffin Was this?  
Taylor: Catholic!   
Jessie: Baptist!  
Taylor: I thought it was catholic.  
Jessie: No, it wasn't. It was Baptist.  
Taylor: But really. Can Baptists be excommunicated?  
Jessie: Sure. Why not? And he's a muffin so he's special.  
Taylor: But Jessie, why would the muffin be Baptist?  
Jessie: (Getting stubbornly angry) Why would it be Catholic?  
Taylor: (Getting upset as well) Look, all I said was-   
Mary: Enough you two. No jihads at the breakfast table.  
Taylor and Jessie: (Whining) But Maaaaaryyyyyyy...  
Mary: Nope. Sorry. Rules are rules. Besides, the little muffin needs a proper burial, don't cha think?  
Rodney: You're going to bury a muffin?  
Shep: In Atlantis?  
Taylor: Not really, no. (Looks at the muffin) Well, other than being squashed it's not really that damaged.  
Jessie: I already had a muffin. No thanks.  
Mary: Not me.  
Ronon: I'll have it.  
Taylor: There, see now. Ronon doesn't discriminate against food because it's been exiled. (Pushes the muffin plate towards him)  
Rodney: He doesn't discriminate against food ever.   
Ronon: Food is food. (Shrugs and eats the muffin quickly)  
Jess: Sooooooooooo... (Long silence)  
Shep: Sooooo... What?  
Jess: What's the game plan? (He looks at her confused) You know for today. What are we doing?  
Rodney: WE are not doing anything. I will be on one side of the city working and hopefully the three of you will be on the other.  
Jess: You're so mean! (Pouts, causing Taylor to glare at Rodney and Mary to attempt to both glare at Rodney and calm Taylor down)  
Shep: McKay...(Casting slightly concerned and yet highly amused glances between Taylor and Rodney) Maybe not the best or nicest way of phrasing things.  
Rodney: (Inching away from the glaring girls) No. No. Probably not. Um...(He desperately tries to come up with something to say to get himself out of this while Shep and Ronon look on in amusement) Ah...  
Random Scientist Guy: (Yelling as he runs across the mess) Doctor McKay! Doctor McKay! (Skidding to a halt and panting) Come-experiment-couldn't believe-amazing-jewel-jumper-come.  
Taylor: What did he say?   
Mary: Something about an experiment on a jewel - I'm assuming it's the "of Atlantis" one - and a jumper of amazingness.   
Rodney: I'll be working on that, see? It's just going to be boring, dull, science.  
RSG: (Breathless) ...amazing...you'll never believe...the jewel!  
Rodney: (Taking RSG by the elbow) Come on. What are you saying? (They walk away)  
Jessie: (Turning her attention to Ronon and Shep) So, how about you two?  
Ronon: I'm beating up the Marines again. You can come if you want, I guess.   
Jessie: (Turning her attention to Shep) So, how about you?   
(Ronon grins and leaves to kick some military butt.)  
Shep: Well, er, I don't really have anything planned. Oh! Wait a second, didn't I promise you jumper lessons?  
Taylor: You did.  
Jessie: Yay! I wanna FLY A JUMPER!!!!  
Mary: Jessie, you're scaring me.   
Jessie: What?  
Mary: Tell you what. Taylor, if you would be so kind as to accompany Sheppy here on a Jumper Flying 101 course, and maybe if you survive you can give us pointers, okay?  
Jessie: (Pouting) But I wanna fly...  
Mary: I know. (Pats Jessie on the head) But let's make sure that You won't kill us all first.  
Shep: How will Taylor's flying show if Jessie is able to-  
Taylor and Jessie: Twins!  
Taylor and Jessie: Jinx!  
Taylor and Jessie: Jinx again!  
Taylor and Jessie: Stop that!!!  
Mary: Case proven. Come on Jessie. Let's see if we can find you an Atlantean version of your Walter-san.  
Jessie: (As the two of them walk away) No one can replace my Walter-san...  
---


	2. Chapter 2

**The Light at the End of the Escape Route**

**A/N**: Hi everybody! Welcome to part three of the continuing Escape Route saga. That's right, this is a part three. If you want to read it alone, go for it, but no complaining if you don't understand what's going on. Nimeria (my co-author) and I recommend that you read parts one and two first. And as I just stated, Nimeria is my co-author. Yep, this is just as much hers as mine. We write this together via MSN messenger, hence the format and the irregularity of posting stories. (The irregularity of posting chapters is entirely my fault. College seems to make you lazier than the rest of the population. Heehee!) Please feel free to let us know what you think! - Bann and Nimeria

**Disclaimer**: Neither Nimeria nor I own anything that is mentioned, discussed, referred to in passing, or blatantly stated. We don't own any of the characters, and we don't own the settings. We do, however, own ourselves (and the third original character owns herself as well). If we did own them, we wouldn't be wasting our time writing fanfiction and going to school. Mostly because there would be this whole new galaxy to go play in, and all these really awesome people to meet. But just because we don't own them now doesn't necessarily mean that sometime in the near future that we won't! Stay tuned for more information on that front! And now, on to the chapter…

**Chapter 2**

(That Evening)  
(Taylor, Mary, Jessie, and Shep are walking down a corridor from the mess hall, heading towards the lab McKay is in.)   
Taylor: So do we honestly think we'll be able to get him to stop?   
Shep: (Shrugging) Even if we can't, the walk is worth it to irritate him.  
Jess: This is true.  
Mary: What is it he's working on anyway?  
Shep: I know about as much as you do. I haven't seen him since he left breakfast this morning.  
Mary: You could have just asked someone else.  
Shep: Yeah, but then I don't get to bother him.  
Taylor: You could do it anyway.  
Shep: It's not as fun unless I honestly don't have a clue what's going on.   
Jess: That makes sense.  
Mary: It does?  
Jess: Of course it does. If you know what he's talking about but pretend you don't he'll be able to tell and you won't ask irritating questions you would ask if you don't know. It's like this guy who was in our Honors Chem. class in high school. Never had a clue. It was amusing to listen to but it got irritating.  
Taylor: Oh, god. I remember him. Good grief. (Jess nods her agreement)  
Jess: But one time he tried to act like he didn't know when he did and it wasn't anywhere near as amusing. Or as irritating.  
Mary: Alright, alright, I know when to admit I've been beaten.  
Taylor: You do?  
Jessie: No you don't.   
Mary: You're probably right.  
Jessie: Huh?  
Taylor: Stop admitting we're right!  
Mary: Okay.  
Taylor: Aaargh! Stop that!   
Jessie: Agreeable Mary is creepy...  
Mary: Oh, I'm sorry. I'll stop now.  
Taylor: AAARRRRGHHHH!!!  
(They arrive at the lab where McKay is, and he looks up from fiddling with one of the many little panels in the Jumper that lies in the center of the room. In a device on the floor of the jumper, on a pedestal if you will, sits the Jewel, and there are innumerable wires running from the Jewel to various panels and gadgets around the room.)  
McKay: Why was there screaming in the hallway?  
Taylor: (Pointing to Mary) She's Evil!   
Jessie: And she's Being Nice!  
Taylor: It's not normal I tell you!  
Jessie: And It's CREEPY!!!  
Mary: I said I'm sorry. (Smiles)  
Taylor: (Thwacks Mary) STOP IT!  
Mary: Okay.  
Jessie: (Hiding behind Sheppard) Make her stop, Please!  
Shep: Ahhhh. (He looks at Mary who winks at him) Ummm.  
Rodney: I ask again. What is going on?  
Mary: They're freaking out because I'm being nice.   
Rodney: That's a bad thing?  
Mary: It'd be like you...hugging an underling.  
Rodney: I'd never do that. If I did it'd be creepy.   
Mary: Exactly.  
Shep: So if you know it bothers them, why do you keep doing it?  
Mary: Because it's fun.  
Taylor: Because she's evil. (Pulls Jessie out from behind Sheppard) She won't bite. She doesn't like blood.  
Jess: How do you know? How do you know she's not a cannibal? How do you know she's not a...a... a...(She trails off trying to come up with something to say.)  
Taylor: (sighing) Because we aren't dead. She's evil, but she won't hurt you.   
Shep: Wow... Okay...  
Rodney: You're all so strange.  
Mary: You're one to talk. What are you working on anyway?  
Rodney: Haskins over there-  
Random Science Guy we now know as: Hodgkins, Dr. McKay.  
McKay: Yes, yes, that's what I said. He was doing some testing on the Jewel of Atlantis and he found that-  
Jessie: (Staring at the ceiling) How did you get the Jumper in here?  
McKay: What?  
Jessie: How did you get the-  
McKay: This lab connects to the Jumper Bay, probably for maintenance but we're not exactly sure.  
Jessie: Oh.  
McKay: Can I go on?  
Jessie: Yep.   
McKay: The Jewel seems to power this.  
Shep: ...Which is?   
McKay: We got the plans out of the ancient database a while back but didn't know how to get it up and running. (Smirking) It's a Time Jumper.  
Taylor: Cool.  
Jessie: Very.  
Shep: Time Jumper? What?  
McKay: Remember when we found that older Dr. Weir in one of the labs in the city, and she told us that the First time she was here, she got away in a time traveling jumper, and that later the Ancient whatsisname stashed the plans in the database before he left?   
Shep: Yeah.  
McKay: (Gestures to the jumper) Viola!  
Shep: Cool.  
Taylor: I already said that.  
Mary: (Walking into the Time Jumper) So...  
Taylor: Mary NO!  
Mary: What?  
Taylor: (Rushes into the Time Jumper after Mary, dodging Rodney and the Jewel and the coils, and Drags Mary to the cockpit of the Jumper.) You Can't Touch ANYTHING!  
Mary: What??  
Rodney: Can you be more careful Please? I've been at this for, oh, seventeen hours and I'd really prefer it not to Blow Up.  
Taylor: I know. That's why I had to get Mary away.  
Shep: What?  
Taylor: To put it simply; Mary touching electronics equals boom.  
Rodney: Then definitely don't touch anything.  
Shep: What do you mean?  
Jess: Exactly what she says. Mary touches electronic things and they explode.  
Hodgkins: Like another power?  
Taylor: No. Just like boom.  
Jess: Our theory is that electronics just don't like her.  
Mary: As much as I'd love to deny all this, I can't. So Taylor, why don't you show me what you learned today?  
Taylor: Kay. So, (Turning toward the control panels on the dashboard) This here is steering, it works kind of like a cross between a game controller and a bike.  
Mary: Is it sad that I understand what you mean?  
Taylor: Nope.  
---  
(Outside the Jumper)  
Shep: Look, all I'm saying is that if you're going to insist upon working non-stop and not eating, then don't drag the underlings with you.  
Rodney: What are you talking about? Hodgkins wants to be here.  
Shep: Really? Hey, Hodgkins, you ready to take a break?  
Hodgkins: Yes. Please. Please!  
Shep: See?  
Rodney: Fine. Go. Take your break.

---   
(Back in the front of the Jumper)  
Taylor: -and then you... wait a second.  
Mary: What?  
Taylor: Where's Jessie?  
Jessie: (From behind them) Hey, shiny.  
Rodney: Don't touch that!!  
(Mary and Taylor spin around just in time to see Shep and Rodney lunging for Jessie as she pokes a random button on the side of the device)   
(After a brief pause, as everyone cringes and ducks, nothing happens)  
Jessie: ...uh...oops?  
Mary: Bad Jessie. Bad. Go sit over there.  
Rodney: (Inspecting the Device) Hmm.  
Shep: Hmm? Hmm is not a good noise Rodney.  
Rodney: Would you rather I say "Oh God, Oh God, We're All Going To Die?"  
Shep: Well, no. But something like "Wow. Nothing bad happened at all!" would be nice.  
Rodney: Sorry, but "Hmm" is all you get for now.  
Taylor: (Sitting next to Jessie) Look, at least nothing bad happened this time, but you Really need to control the urge to poke things.  
Mary: Well, Taylor, it is partially our fault. We did forget about her for a second.  
Jessie: But nothing's wrong, right? We're all good?  
Taylor: Yeah. Nothing's wrong. Right Rodney?  
McKay: Hmm. (He turns on his earpiece) Hodgkins, can you come back here for a second? (Pause) Hodgkins? (Longer pause) Darn scientists, turning off their headphones on their breaks. (Touches earpiece again) Zelenka, you busy? (Pause)  
Shep: (Touches his earpiece) Elizabeth, you copy? (Pause)  
McKay: Probably an EM pulse knocked out our earpieces.  
Mary: We can go play messenger to someone.  
Taylor: Yeah. Hodgkins can't be that far away. Unless he was running. (The girls giggle)  
Shep: Sure. But just grab him and come back. Don't forget about us, okay?  
Mary: Would we do that?  
McKay: Probably.  
Mary: (Pause) You may be right.   
Taylor: Come on Jess, let's go hunting!  
(The three girls leave the room and start to walk down the hallway)  
Mary: So how far do you think we'll have to go to find him?  
Jess: If I were him? The other side of the city.  
Taylor: Jess...(Gently scolding) Play nice.  
Jess: But it's true!! I could hardly stay in one place long enough to make it through school and then we got to get up and at least walk every 40 minutes.  
Mary: She has a point.  
Taylor: So...you think the other side of the city? Would he have gone straight down this hallway?  
Jess: Yep. Why?  
Taylor: Race you! (She takes off sprinting)  
Jessie: Hey! Not fair!! (Takes off after her)  
Mary: (Shaking her head) Crazy idiots. (Affectionately she watches as Taylor rounds a corner and Jessie follows her. Seconds later Jessie bounces backwards.)  
Jess: Ow! Why'd you stop?  
Mary: (Catching up to them she notices Taylor standing there staring at something) Hey are you-(She cuts off as she realizes what she's staring at)  
Taylor: Oh. My. God.  
Jess: (Also realizing) Uh-oh.   
Mary: This can't be good.  
Taylor: This is bad. Very very very very very-  
Jessie: What do we DO???  
Taylor: -very very very.   
Mary: We run back. Now.  
(The three women race back through the hallways at breakneck speed, and slow down only when they're back in the lab, almost collectively hitting the wall opposite the door.)   
Shep: (Walking out of the Jumper) Hey you're back soon- what's wrong?  
McKay: (Also walking out) Did you find him?  
Jessie: Worse.  
Taylor: It's bad. Really Bad.  
Shep: What happened?   
Mary: We're underwater.  
McKay: WHAT?  
Taylor: The windows in the halls.  
Jessie: Blue.  
Taylor: Fish.  
Mary: Underwater.  
Shep: This is a very poor joke, ladies.  
Taylor: Well, come on if you don't believe us!  
(The party leaves the lab en masse, and not quite believing, the men let the ladies lead them down the hallway.)  
Shep: Rodney, you hear anything?  
McKay: No. Why?  
Shep: Because I don't either. I know there are other labs around here. Where is everyone? We passed people getting here, and it's not that late.  
McKay: (Pulls out his life signs detector, which he grabbed before leaving the lab, along with his laptop out of habit.) I'll have a look, but it can't be that-   
(Rodney runs into Sheppard's back, because he stopped dead in the hallway.)  
McKay: What?  
Shep: Rodney, look up.  
McKay: (Looking out the window in front of them) Dear God.

---


	3. Chapter 3

**The Light at the End of the Escape Route**

**A/N**: Hi everybody! Welcome to part three of the continuing Escape Route saga. That's right, this is a part three. If you want to read it alone, go for it, but no complaining if you don't understand what's going on. Nimeria (my co-author) and I recommend that you read parts one and two first. And as I just stated, Nimeria is my co-author. Yep, this is just as much hers as mine. We write this together via MSN messenger, hence the format and the irregularity of posting stories. (The irregularity of posting chapters is entirely my fault. College seems to make you lazier than the rest of the population. Heehee!) Please feel free to let us know what you think! - Bann and Nimeria

**Disclaimer**: Neither Nimeria nor I own anything that is mentioned, discussed, referred to in passing, or blatantly stated. We don't own any of the characters, and we don't own the settings. We do, however, own ourselves (and the third original character owns herself as well). If we did own them, we wouldn't be wasting our time writing fanfiction and going to school. Mostly because there would be this whole new galaxy to go play in, and all these really awesome people to meet. But just because we don't own them now doesn't necessarily mean that sometime in the near future that we won't! Stay tuned for more information on that front! And now, on to the chapter…

**Chapter 3**

(Out the window that once showed a lovely view of city and waves and sky there is now only the dark bluish green of the waters. As if to punctuate this fact, a school of little red fish swims happily by, unaware of the terror of the people looking on.)  
Jessie: We're underwater. We're going to drown!  
Taylor: We are not going to drown.  
Jessie: But-  
Shep: The city has a shield Jessie.   
Jess: Ohhhhhh.  
Taylor: (Glancing around) Shep, can we go back to the lab? This place is creepy like this.  
Shep: Yeah. Come on.   
Rodney: It'll be easier for me to figure out what happened from there anyway. Starting with whatever the hell it was you touched! (Very nearly yelling, he turns to glare at Jessie who jumps behind Mary for protection.)  
Jessie: I don't know. Don't kill me.   
Rodney: You may have killed us all!  
Jessie: But we aren't going to drown! (Turning to Taylor) You said we wouldn't drown.   
Taylor: (Glaring at Rodney and pulling her twin into a hug.) And we won't. It'll be okay, Jess. Don't worry. They'll fix it.  
Rodney: I-(Sheppard slaps a hand over his mouth and drags him away slightly ahead of the ladies.)  
Shep: Do. Not. Yell. At. Them. (He glares more intensely than anyone yet has.) You were the one who left the thing powered up. You were the one who actually hooked it up to the jumper before you knew what it did. Don't yell at them, and don't scare them with your certain death talk either.  
Rodney: But-   
Shep: I'm not messing around McKay. Leave them be.  
Mary: (Coming up behind the two.) Sorry, may I have a word?  
Shep: I-   
Mary: You have a problem with one of my little ones, you take it out on me. Do you understand?  
McKay: But-  
Mary: (Getting quiet) Do...you...understand?  
McKay: Y-yes.  
Mary: (Calling behind her) Come on. Let's get back to the lab. (She walks away with the girls, back down the hallway.)  
Shep: See?  
McKay: Yes, but this is Bad! VERY bad! The city doesn't just rise and sink arbitrarily! We should have felt it sink!  
Shep: This is why we're going back to the lab, where the ladies are doing their best to keep it together. For all we know, we're alone here. Let's not piss each other off, alright?  
McKay: Fine. Yes. Let's go.  
(The two walk back to the lab, and find the girls sitting in the cockpit of the Jumper, talking. The conversation ceases as the men arrive.)  
McKay: Look, I'm sorry I yelled.  
Mary: Do you need to be in here? Because we can move somewhere else if we'll be in your way.  
McKay: No. Well, maybe but-  
(The girls walk out of the Jumper and sit by one of the walls.)  
Taylor: We'll just be over here if you need us. Alright? Don't let us bother you.  
McKay: But I-  
Shep: McKay, I'm betting that this is not the time for talking. Jessie looks like she's about to burst into tears.  
McKay: I didn't mean to, you know.  
Shep: I know, but they might not. Let's just get this fixed okay? Here. How can I help?  
Rodney: Just...Only touch what I tell you to touch when I tell you to touch it, okay? And try not to think at anything.  
Shep: Got it.

---  
(With the ladies)  
Jessie: He hates me.  
Taylor: He doesn't. I promise you he doesn't. (She pulls her twin into another hug) I told you it'll be okay. I promise. Have I ever lied to you when I promised you something?  
Jess: Yes.  
Taylor: (Surprised at this answer) What?! When?  
Jess: Give me a minute to try to think of an example.  
Taylor: Will you actually be able to think of one?   
Jess: If I thought hard enough maybe, but my brain would explode before then so I'll just say "No, I trust you".  
Taylor: Okay. That? Totally sarcastic  
Mary: That sounded sincere.   
Taylor: Thus, Jessie-sarcastic.  
Mary: You would know better then I. So, are you okay then?  
Jessie: I guess so. But I'm gonna sit over here for a while.  
Mary: Understandable.  
Taylor: And I'll sit with her.  
Mary: Also understandable. Hmm. Too bad I can't get you comfort food.  
Taylor: Yeah.  
Jessie: Actually...no, never mind.  
Mary: No, what?  
Jessie: The jumpers do have power bar supplies in the case of emergencies.   
Taylor: How would you know that? And I'm not sure this counts as an emergency.  
Jessie: They're chocolate.  
Taylor: Well, it's a little bit of an emergency...  
Mary: (Chuckling) Alright, I'll venture over into hostile territory for the sake of chocolate for you both.  
Taylor: And yell at McKay!  
Jessie: Taylor...  
Taylor: Well, scold him. Harshly.  
Mary: Okay. Be right Back.

---  
(In the Jumper.)  
Shep: (Presses a button on the console of the Jumper.) How's that?  
McKay: Nope. Nothing. Now try the one to the left of that one.  
Shep: McKay, Mary's coming over. Be apologetic.   
McKay: (Looks up at Mary) Mary, uh look, I didn't mean to yell, okay?  
Mary: I know, I know. And at this moment I'm giving you a very harsh scolding by order of Taylor. That and looking for power bars.  
Shep: Why?  
Mary: (Looking through a pack) Because they're chocolate and I'm also under orders for them.  
Shep: Aren't you the one supposed to be giving orders to your, uh, "little ones"?  
Mary: Yes, but since the whole "we're underwater" thing was my fault, it's really my duty, wouldn't you say so Rodney? (She gives him a look)  
McKay: Well, er, I suppose so?  
Mary: Very good. (She smiles as she finds the power bars and pockets them, replacing the pack with other packaged foodstuffs) We'll get Jess to giggle and she'll be right as rain. I'd say, oh, twenty minutes or so. Say, while I'm here, you two need anything?  
Shep: Nope. I think we're good. If something explodes we'll call you.  
Mary: Alright. You know where we'll be then. (She walks back)  
McKay: What exactly just happened there?  
Shep: I think the evil one just granted you a full pardon from the wrath of the group.  
McKay: Oh. Right. The one to the left now, same as before.

---  
(Mary walks back to where Jessie and Taylor are sitting)  
Mary: Rodney has Shep touching things to see what they do. They should have this whole thing figured out by morning. (She hands jess and Taylor a power bar each as she sits.)  
Taylor: There now, see. Nothing to worry about.  
Mary: Now wait. I said they'd have it figured out by morning, not fixed by morning. We interrupted Rodney before he managed to figure out a lot of things about the device.  
Jessie: But we'll be okay right?  
Mary: Yes. There's nobody else in the city, we have food and water provisions in the jumper. We may be here for awhile, but we'll be okay.  
Taylor: Soooo...what to do to pass the time.  
Jessie: Tiddlywinks?  
Taylor: I can only lose so much before I get depressed about it.  
Mary: So what then?   
Jessie: I know it's late but I'm too tired to sleep.  
Taylor: Me too.  
Mary: You do know that that made absolutely no sense right?  
Jessie: So?  
Mary: Hmm. (pause) Oh! I've a great idea.   
Taylor: Tell!  
Jessie: Wait. You're smiling. Why are you smiling?  
Mary: First, truce until I call 'go' okay?  
Taylor: ...Okay...  
Jessie: Sure, but I don't get it.  
Mary: We're going to go out into the hallway, with Sheppy and McKay's permission, and have ourselves a poke war.  
Taylor: Wait. Pokes or a Real Poke War.  
Mary: War.  
Jessie: It's been so long since we've had a good old fashioned war. Let's do it!  
Mary: Let me go ask first. (She gets up and walks over to the guys)  
McKay: (Annoyed) Well I didn't KNOW that it was going to shock you.  
Shep: Still could've warned me.  
Mary: Sorry to interrupt.  
Shep: No problem. What can we do for you?  
Mary: Would it be acceptable for us to, oh, go out to the hallway?  
Sheppard: Why?  
Mary: Mental health.   
Sheppard: No, I mean what will you be doing out there?  
Mary: Having war.  
McKay: You'll be playing war?  
Mary: A poke war.   
Shep: I guess, if you don't wander off, and stay within calling distance...  
Mary: Okay then. (She walks back to the twinlings.)   
Taylor: -can't get both of us if we gang up-  
Jessie: Hush! Here she comes!  
Mary: We've got an okay, as long as we stay within calling distance. War begins as soon as we hit the hall.   
Taylor: Do we have a number of pokes to get to win?  
Jessie: Do we ever?  
Taylor: Good point.  
(The three walk toward the hallway and stop in the doorway.)  
Mary: On your mark, get set, Go!!! (Taylor and Jessie dash from the doorway in opposite directions as Mary attempts to poke both, managing to almost graze Taylor.) Such brilliant strategy, but mine is better!  
(She starts off in the same direction as Taylor, with constant glances over her shoulder, when Taylor jumps out from behind a doorway and pokes her. Mary manages to return the favor before Taylor phases through a wall.)   
Taylor: (Giggling) Catch me now!  
Mary: Hey!! No powers in a Poke War! (She is poked in the side by an invisible Jessie and misses her attempt to poke back.)  
Jess: (Her voice fading as she runs away.) This was not established at the beginning of the game.  
Mary: It was established (She dodges Taylor's poke and pokes the blonde in the side as she attempts to get away) in the set rules at the very beginning of the first game. When we created it this was established.   
Taylor: I remember no such rule. (Disappears into wall)  
Jessie: (Her voice much closer now) Nor do I. (Mary somehow manages to duck Jessie's poke but doesn't manage to land one herself.)  
Mary: Argh. You two and your selective memory. Fine, no more missus nice boss.  
Taylor: (Sticking her head out of the wall) But boss-chan, you're evil. When are you ever nice?  
Mary: (Mimicking the whining tone of Taylor's voice) R2...prepare to lose.  
(Taylor runs out of the wall and down the hallway.)  
Mary: Oh Taaaylorrrrr.   
Taylor: (Over her shoulder) What?  
Mary: By order of your overlord, I command you to stop.  
Taylor: (Freezes mid-stride) What??? No! You can't do that!  
Mary: (Walking up and poking Taylor twice) This is why the rule was established.  
Jessie: (Her disembodied voice from nearby) But you can't do that!  
Mary: Jessie, by my order as overlord, un-invisible yourself and stop.   
(Jessie appears not too far away and Mary pokes her twice.)   
Taylor: Okay, okay, we won't use our supernatural powers if you don't use your overlordy ones. Deal?  
Mary: (Smiling) Deal. So. Oh, yes, unfreeze and such. And go!

---  
(Back in the lab)  
Shep: (Looks up at the sound of more giggles and squeals) I really want to go see what they're up to.  
McKay: (Reading off his laptop) Then go.  
Shep: But it's not like they invited me. What if this is part of the plan to get everyone happy again?  
McKay: Then don't go. Really, if you're going to whine about it any more-  
Shep: Okay, I'll stop "whining". But they've been gone for nearly fifteen minutes. How long do poke wars last anyway?  
McKay: How should I know? I'm trying to get this figured out. I couldn't care less about-  
Shep: Settle down Rodney. Just talking out loud.  
(Rodney mumbles and goes back to his laptop.)

---  
(Twenty minutes later all three of them stumble into the room, barely able to breathe, much less walk from laughter. Shep and Rodney stare.)   
Rodney: Well, hello. (Goes back to working on the thing as the ladies calm down.)  
Shep: I take it the war went well then? (All nod as Taylor uses the wall to slide herself to a sitting position, Jessie flops down and Mary sits calmly.)  
Mary: Of course it did. They always do. Even when people cheat.  
Taylor: Boss-chan, I swear to you I never remember any rule forbidding the use of powers.   
Mary: That, R2, is because you have a selective memory with selective hearing.  
Taylor: Say again? (Taylor and Jess giggle as Mary glares.)  
Shep: So who won?  
Jessie: We think it was Mary. But we're never actually sure.  
Rodney: How can you not be sure? (Turning to face them again)  
Taylor: Well, it's not like we actually count how many pokes we've hit other people with and received.  
Jess: Too much math.  
Taylor: Too much thinking.   
Mary: Lazy bums.  
Taylor: (Indignant) You don't count pokes either!  
Mary: I include myself in the 'lazy bums' category.   
Jessie: Well, that's okay then.  
Taylor: I know I got at least forty-five good pokes in.  
Mary: I lost count at thirty-seven.   
Jessie: I don't remember counting.  
Mary: (Rubbing her arm) I'm going to be bruised for a week. Totally worth it though.  
McKay: While you three have been out gallivanting, we've been working. I think it's safe to say that the city didn't sink.  
Jessie: (Looking at Rodney like he's lost it.) We're underwater. You do know that right?  
McKay: Yes, but there was no sinking involved. We didn't move in space. We moved in time.  
(Pause)  
Taylor: What now?  
Mary: Time. Then when are we?  
Rodney: That's hard to say. Post-Ancients leaving Atlantis. Pre-Expedition finding Atlantis.   
Shep: And it seems that the accidental touch brought us here.   
Mary: But the power cords? The laptops? They came too?  
Shep: Probably because they were attached to the jumper with those cables.   
Taylor: Then how are they running?  
McKay: Well, I'm no genius, but I'd say that that generator in the corner we were using to power everything so we wouldn't have to power up this whole side of the city might have something to do with it.  
Taylor: Oh.   
Mary: It's late. Brain thoughts become hard.  
(Pause)  
Jessie: Can you fix it?  
Rodney: (Sighing) Probably, but it's going to take some time.  
Mary: Right. Sleep then.  
Taylor: Sleep? I'm too tired to sleep.  
Mary: You said that before.  
Taylor: But now I really mean it.  
Shep: We should all get some sleep. (He silences Rodney's protests with a wave of his hand.) No, you were pulling an all-nighter Before we got sent back in time. No sense making it worse.  
Jessie: Yeah. Tired people get cranky.  
Taylor: (Glancing at McKay) Cranky people are tired.  
Jess: That's what I just said.  
Taylor: Is (Yawn) not. (She scoots over to where Mary is and puts her head in her friend's lap.)  
Mary: See, you're more tired than you think.  
Jessie: (Curling up against the pillows and blankets from the jumper that Shep and McKay had thrown out there to get out of the way.) Yeah. I guess.  
Taylor: (Sleepy sound) Mhmm.   
Shep: (Sitting down next to Mary and gently easing two pillows and three blankets out from under the now sleeping Jessie.) So are you just a pillow then?  
Mary: Apparently. I don't mind. (She helps Shep drape the blanket over Taylor and another over Jessie.)  
Shep: You sure? I'll help you move her if you want to lay down yourself.  
Mary: No, it's alright. I can sleep like this tonight. (She eases another blanket out from under Jess) We don't need to keep guard tonight, right? No one else is here. (She hands him the blanket) You and McKay use this and those (She points to the blanket and two pillows still in his hand) and get some sleep.  
Shep: I'll see what I can do. (They share a smile and he gets up to convince McKay to sleep.)  
McKay: You're actually going to make me sleep, huh.  
Shep: Come on Rodney, you know as well as I do that it's easier to make mistakes when you're sleep deprived.  
McKay: Where are we sleeping?  
Shep: I've got some nice floor picked out right over there.  
McKay: Floor? Aww man.  
Shep: You want to sleep in the time traveling jumper?  
McKay: Well, no.  
Shep: Come on. The girls are already sleeping.  
(The two guys walk over to where the girls are just about sleeping.)  
Sheppard: Be quiet. We don't want to wake them up.  
Taylor: ...Mary?  
Mary: What?   
Taylor: I'm asleep.  
Mary: So am I.  
McKay: (To Sheppard) I thought you said they were already asleep.  
Taylor: Mary?  
Mary: What Taylor?  
Taylor: I'm asleep.  
Mary: So am I.  
Taylor: No you're not!  
Mary: Well, at the very least I'm tired. All this traveling through the space/time continuum is very hard.  
Taylor: But the space/time continuum isn't hard.  
Mary: I said that traveling through it was hard, R2.  
Taylor: I like it.  
(By this time both men have bedded down and are listening to this conversation while trying to fall asleep.)  
Mary: Like what?   
Taylor: The space/time continuum.  
Mary: You're raving.   
Taylor: I hope all this traveling through the space/time continuum doesn't hurt him. Because he's a really nice guy, the space/time continuum is. His name is François. His favorite color is periwinkle. He likes little animals and romantic comedy movies, but he has a penchant for the murder movies too as long as they're not too bloody. Nice guy, François. I don't want to kill him.  
Shep: (Opening one eye) You use words like penchant when you're half asleep?  
Taylor: I'm completely asleep. Aren't I? Mary? MARY?  
Mary: What?  
Taylor: I'm completely asleep aren't I?  
Mary: Yes. Utterly asleep.  
McKay: Give it up. You can't win with their logic.  
Taylor: Yay! He's converted! He's one of us!  
Mary: One of us!  
Jessie: Mmmphrh.  
Taylor: Jessie, you're sleeping aren't you.  
Jessie: Nnnnoooo.  
Taylor: Oh. Okay then.  
Mary: R2. Sleepy time.  
Taylor: But Jessie isn't!   
Mary: D2, sleepy time too.  
Jessie: Mmmokayhh.  
Taylor: Oh fine.  
(The twins drift off into sleep and McKay, despite his complaints, follows shortly after.)  
Shep: Hey, Mary, can I ask you something?  
Mary: Only if I can ask you something after I answer your question, If I can answer it that is.  
Shep: Okay.   
Mary: Go for it then.  
Shep: I guess it's a series of questions actually.  
Mary: Still okay.  
Shep: Right. So, first question. How much older than them are you?  
Mary: Two years. I was a Junior their Freshman year of high school.  
Shep: So they're the same age?  
Mary: Jessie is three months older than Taylor. Exactly three months. Both are born on the fifteenth of their respective month.  
Shep: So you all went to the same high school then? (Mary nods) How long ago was that?  
Mary: You know you could just ask how old we are.  
Shep: Would you give me an answer?   
Mary: No, but it beats dancing around like this. Anything else?   
Shep: Yeah, these two, we've all seen how much trouble they can cause, and yet you look after them all the same. I'm not saying that you shouldn't, I can understand why you would want to (He casts an affectionate glance at the sleeping Taylor) but what made you want to take care of them in the first place?  
Mary: It's just what I do.   
Shep: So...  
Mary: Just what I do.  
Shep: You didn't answer me about the high school thing did you?  
Mary: Nope.  
Shep: And you're not going to either, are you.  
Mary: No. Well, not yet anyways.  
(Pause)  
Shep: Didn't you have a question for me?   
Mary: Yes, but I think I'll save it for later.  
Shep: Is it something bad?  
Mary: You'll find out, won't you? Now can we sleep please?  
Shep: Yes. Sleep.  
Mary: Sleep is good.  
(And the last people awake drift off to sleep.)  
---


	4. Chapter 4

**The Light at the End of the Escape Route**

**A/N**: Hi everybody! Welcome to part three of the continuing Escape Route saga. That's right, this is a part three. If you want to read it alone, go for it, but no complaining if you don't understand what's going on. Nimeria (my co-author) and I recommend that you read parts one and two first. And as I just stated, Nimeria is my co-author. Yep, this is just as much hers as mine. We write this together via MSN messenger, hence the format and the irregularity of posting stories. (The irregularity of posting chapters is entirely my fault. College seems to make you lazier than the rest of the population. Heehee!) Please feel free to let us know what you think! - Bann and Nimeria

**Disclaimer**: Neither Nimeria nor I own anything that is mentioned, discussed, referred to in passing, or blatantly stated. We don't own any of the characters, and we don't own the settings. We do, however, own ourselves (and the third original character owns herself as well). If we did own them, we wouldn't be wasting our time writing fanfiction and going to school. Mostly because there would be this whole new galaxy to go play in, and all these really awesome people to meet. But just because we don't own them now doesn't necessarily mean that sometime in the near future that we won't! Stay tuned for more information on that front! And now, on to the chapter…

**Chapter 4**

(The next morning, Sheppard awakes to the sounds of talking.)  
Taylor: Look, it's not like we'd hurt him.  
Mary: No.  
Taylor: But look at him, sleeping there so cute.  
Jessie: And it would wake him up for sure.  
Mary: (Sighs) No.  
(Sheppard opens his eyes and sits up)  
Shep: G'morning everyone. Who's up?  
Mary: (As Taylor and Jessie groan) Everyone but you. I must say you have good, if delayed, timing.  
McKay: They were going to 'glomp' you awake, I think.  
Shep: Ouch.  
Taylor: And what's wrong with glomping?   
Mary: Glomping is not a good way to greet the day. Besides, he had a gun nearby. I prefer my minions Living. Not to say that zombies are a bad thing, but living minions follow orders better.  
(Jessie tosses Shep a MRE for breakfast as he joins the rest of the group.)   
McKay: You don't really order them around much do you?  
Mary: (Hanging her head) No, and for that I am extremely guilty.  
McKay: What?  
Taylor: It's okay boss-chan.  
Jessie: Yeah. Don't worry about it.  
Taylor: She means that she doesn't have to order us because most of the time we just do what she says.  
Mary: I'm a dictator. I really try not to be, but it always turns out that I'm dictatorish.  
Jessie: But we have good reason to do what you say.   
Taylor: Yeah. Most of the time no bad comes of it.  
Shep: Bad occasionally comes of it?  
Taylor: Only when she's being evil.   
Mary: (Brightening considerably) That's not being a dictator. That's just being me.  
McKay: Evil commands from a dictator-like overlord? It's a wonder that they don't overthrow you.  
Mary: (Shrugs) I encourage plotting against me but nothing ever comes of it.  
Jessie: About that. Dictators don't generally do that, do they?  
(Taylor scoots over to Sheppard.)  
Taylor: Gooood Morning!  
Shep: (Smirks) Good Morning yourself.  
(Taylor levels him with a serious stare.)  
Shep: (Eventually becoming unsettled) What?  
Taylor: (Quietly so the other won't over hear) What did you and Mary talk about last night?  
Shep: What makes you think we talked?  
Taylor: Just a feeling...and I woke up to hear your voices but didn't bother trying to understand them.  
Shep: It's nothing to worry about. Really. (He smiles sweetly at her when she looks at him in disbelief) Trust me?  
Taylor: (Sighing) Of course I do. I just-Never mind. (She starts to get up to leave)  
Shep: (Pulling her back down) No. You just what? (She looks away from him) You can tell me you know.  
Taylor: I know, it's just (She looks away from him)...the last guy I dated well, the last one that talked to Mary. I-he-(She stops talking and pulls her knees to her chest) He was kind of sort of asking her how to break up with me because he'd found another girl.  
Shep: (Sighs and pulls her closer to him) Taylor it was nothing like that. Nothing at all like that. (He turns her head so she is looking at him) You do know that right?  
Taylor: I do. I'm sorry. I never thought...I'm just really paranoid I guess.   
Shep: S'alright. I'm a little paranoid myself sometimes. On a different note, Mary let him get away with that?  
Taylor: (Smiling slightly) Oh, heck no. She called me up right then and told me I needed to break up with him.  
Shep: Did you?  
Taylor: Of course, my boss-chan always has my back. (Nods pointedly towards where Mary is holding Jessie back from coming over to listen to their conversation) See?  
Shep: I do. (He laughs and she smiles more solidly.)

---  
(Back with the others)  
Jessie: Please! They've got to be talking about something important! Taylor doesn't look happy!  
Mary: She's fine.   
Jessie: I'm holding you personally responsible if she's not happy!!!  
Mary: Okay.  
(Shep and Taylor walk back to the others.)  
Jessie: Taylor! Are you okay?  
Taylor: Umm...yeah? Why would I not be?  
Jessie: Because if you're not okay I get to blame Mary.  
Taylor: I'm fine. Really.  
Jessie: Awwww. Not even a little bit?  
Mary: You can still blame me if you like, D2. I won't mind.  
Jessie: But if you don't mind it takes all the fun away.  
Mary: Okaaay. Then you can blame me and I'll mind a lot.   
Jessie: (Pouting) Doesn't work if you give me permission first.   
Mary: Fine. I forbid you to blame me, because if you do, I'll really mind a lot.  
Jessie: (Triumphantly) Hah! I still blame you! ALOT! HA!  
Taylor: (Calmly) So, Rodney, what can we do today to help you?  
Rodney: Umm...(He stares for a moment at Jessie, who is enjoying tormenting Mary with taunts and the occasional poke)...I guess you can help me figuring out which conduits do what.  
Taylor: Shouldn't they do the same thing as in the regular jumpers?  
McKay: We had to reroute many of the conduits to accommodate the jumper and prevent overloads in pretty much Every system. And, if my readings from yesterday were correct, it looks like the systems rearranged themselves a little bit too.  
Mary: How is that possible?  
Jessie: Hah! And you didn't think that I actually would blame you because you had to fight to get me to do so but I knew better that-  
McKay: It's a jumper Macguyvered to the Jewel of Atlantis. Who knows?  
Shep: Uh, Jessie, could you stop that please?  
Jessie: -because I'm so much- what? Awww, do I have to?  
Mary: You don't Have to.  
Shep: Yes, she does. It's creeping me out.  
Taylor: No creeping out Sheppy more than necessary.  
Jessie: I didn't know I'd passed the necessary mark.  
Mary: I think we may have started out past the necessary mark.  
McKay: No offense, but I'd have to agree.   
Taylor: How is that supposed to not be offensive?  
Mary: Actually, it really isn't, if only for the fact that it's true.   
Taylor: Good point. (Turning back to McKay) So is that all you have to do to get us back?  
McKay: Yes, for now I just have to finish figuring out what all these controls do.  
Jess: How long is that going to take?  
McKay: (Reluctantly) Well, without a miracle...all day. (Turning to glare at Shep who has opened his mouth to start talking) That means actually a day. Not all day for a normal person. All day. I still have very little idea what most of this stuff does. (Turning back to the girls) I'd suggest finding a way to occupy yourselves. This'll be very boring for you, I'm sure.   
Jessie: We could have another poke war. (Eying Shep mischievously) Civilians versus military maybe?  
Taylor: Jessie! How could you say that?  
McKay: Actually, I need another pair of hands in here. So if you don't mind letting me borrow him...  
Shep: I'm not on auction here people!  
Taylor: You know he wouldn't be able to take it Jess.  
Jessie: But it would be so amusing to watch him try.  
Shep: Hey! I could do pretty well!...probably...  
(Mary reaches over and pokes him in the arm.)  
Shep: (Jumping a little) Hey! A little warning would be nice next time.  
Taylor: (Shakes her head sadly) Sorry, Shep. You don't have the skin for it.  
Mary: It takes time to build up an endurance.  
Shep: You've got to be kidding me.  
McKay: Really?  
Taylor: Yeah. We've been getting poked for years.  
Mary: So, no "Us versus Shep" poke war...yet.  
Jessie: Then I'm out of ideas.  
Taylor: I REFUSE to lose tiddlywinks again.  
Mary: We could go over there and talk?   
Taylor: ...Yes, that we could.  
Jessie: Not a bad idea.   
McKay: (Growing suspicious at the tone of their voices) Talk about what?  
Taylor: Girl talk.  
Shep: (Suddenly interested) Girl talk about what, in particular?  
Jessie: To tell you would break the code.  
Shep: There's a code?  
Mary: Of course there's a code. Everyone knows there's a code. It's just that only we know what the code holds. Am I correct here?  
Taylor: Yep.  
Jessie: Sorry then. We'll have to leave the two of you to yourselves.  
(The girls, smiling far too innocently, rise and walk over to where they won't be overheard.)  
Shep: (Watching them go) I don't like the looks of that.  
McKay: (Warily) Neither do I, but at least I'm not dating one of them.  
Shep: Okay, now I Really don't like the looks of that.

---  
(With the girls)  
Jess: So what are we girl talking exactly?  
Taylor: Nothing.  
Mary: Nothing?  
Taylor: Or at least, nothing along the lines of what Shep and McKay seem to think. Do me a favor, look at them and giggle all evil sounding like. (They all do and Shep and McKay share terrified looks.)  
Mary: You know, as fun as psyching them out is, shouldn't you be nicer since you are dating one of them?   
Taylor: (Shrugging) I am being nice. Notice we aren't actually talking about anything that they think we are or would be. If I was being evil we'd be sitting over here talking about how to work hair dye into Sheppy's shampoo or switch Rodney's coffee with decaf now wouldn't we?  
Jessie: She does have a point. But can we try the coffee thing?  
Taylor: Eventually? Yes. Right Boss-chan?  
Mary: (Loud enough that Shep and Rodney can hear) Oh-no. I want no part in your schemes. No part at all. (She gets up with a wink at Taylor and walks over to Shep and Rodney.)  
Jessie: What was that?  
Taylor: A yes and an "I'm-going-to-futher-psych-them-out-by-acting-like-the-two-of-you-have-a-horrid-awful-scheme-that-I-want-no-part-of-so-I'll-go-over-here-but-refuse-to-tell-them-anything"wink.   
Jessie: Ahhhhhhhh. I get it.  
(Mary walks over to where Shep and McKay are watching in horror.)  
Shep: There's another scheme?   
McKay: How bad is it?  
Mary: (Acting annoyed at the other two women) Huh. If they think I'm going to help them with that, then they've got another thing coming. I mean, little stuff? Sure. Harmless pranks? Count me in. But THAT? (Scoffing disgustedly.) No sir. Never.  
McKay: What? What is it?  
Taylor: (Calling from across the lab) Mary? Mary come back?  
Mary: (Turning) Never. You're both sick and twisted and Wrong.  
Jessie: Mary? Please??? We promise to be good, please?  
Mary: Hmph. (Studying the guys) You'd better hope I can talk them out of this. (Starting to walk back, but stops and faces the guys again) Oh, how's the jumper coming?  
McKay: Right. Oh, we were, uh...  
Shep: ...Just about to get started!   
McKay: Right! Just about.  
(Mary nods and walks back over to the girls.)  
Taylor: (As Mary sits down) Well?  
Mary: They're sweating bullets, the poor guys.  
Jessie: I almost feel bad about that.  
Taylor: Yeah, me too. Almost.  
Mary: Well, we're gonna be here for awhile. Anyone have anything to talk about?  
Taylor: Out of curiosity, how many times have the two of you been asked how you got your powers?  
Mary: Too many times to count.  
Jessie: 342.

(The other two turn to look at her, surprised.)  
Taylor: You counted?   
Jessie: Yes.  
Mary: Why?  
Jessie: I dunno.  
Taylor: Oh. (She stares at her twin in slight confusion until Mary pokes her side.)  
Mary: Was there a reason you asked?  
Taylor: What? Oh. Yeah. I was just...I was wondering...what do the two of you remember of what happened power-wise? Anything?

(They shake their heads.)  
Jessie: I just remember that it came out of nowhere. Just all of a sudden I would actually disappear when I wanted to. It happened accidentally the first time. You remember, right Taylor? We were at tech rehearsal for the play our senior year?   
Taylor: (smiling) Oh heck yes I remember. We left the bench on stage. You wanted to go get it but I told you not to because they were in the middle of the scene. I turned around to find my script and when I turned back you were gone. The next thing I know the director is screaming because the bench is levitating. (Laughs)   
Mary: (Laughing as well) Seriously? I never knew that.  
Jess: (Also laughing) That was the best tech rehearsal ever!  
Taylor: Not that we weren't freaked out at the time. Looking back, do you have any idea how lucky you were that everyone thought somebody had attached wires to it and you didn't reappear in front of everyone?   
Jessie: Yeah, that was lucky. I wasn't even sure what'd happened until later.  
Mary: Taylor, you never told me, how'd you know at first?  
Taylor: Well, Jessie and I were walking along-  
Jessie: (Smirking) It was priceless!  
Taylor: And we were talking about something, something I was really interested-  
Jessie: I think it was about boys.  
Taylor: Uh, interested in. Jessie told me I was about to walk into a wall and-  
Jessie: And then she walked THROUGH it! She was so lucky that it was after school.  
Taylor: (Smiling) Jessie screamed. (Tilts her head) And then tried to walk through it too.  
Jessie: Hey, it Might have worked.  
Taylor: (Laughing) Mary, what about you?  
Mary: I didn't really notice, I guess...let's see...until a few months after that.  
Taylor: Months?  
Mary: Yep. Well, I didn't have very many foreign languages to read through around then. By the next semester, though, I was the best in Spanish, even the archaic forms.  
Jessie: What about the ancient? When could you read that?  
Mary: Jessie...how much Ancient do you think the average college student is exposed to these days?  
Jessie: Uh...not much?  
Mary: (Nodding) Not much.  
Taylor: So how did you figure out that it applied to all foreign languages then?  
Mary: My roommate was a language buff that next year. Italian, French, German, Greek, even Latin at one point. I began to suspect when I couldn't tell the French from the Latin because I could just read it all.  
Jessie: I can see why.   
Taylor: Stupid French pansies.  
Jessie: Fight with croissants and wine.  
Mary: U.S. History had too much influence on the two of you.  
Taylor and Jessie: (Shrugging) So?  
Mary: Why do you do that?  
Taylor and Jessie: What?  
Mary: That. (They smirk) Stop it!  
Taylor: Okay okay. Sheesh. Back to the topic at hand. Do we even have a clue as to when it would have started exactly?  
Jessie: I don't think so. The reactions were so far apart that it's impossible to tell when we could have gotten them.  
Mary: So we have no idea?  
Taylor: Pretty much.  
Jessie: So why couldn't we just say that to begin with?  
Mary: We did, didn't we?  
Taylor: No. Well, not really anyway.  
Jessie: So we just talked about what we already knew?  
Mary: Well I didn't know about the two of you.   
Taylor: And we didn't know about Mary.  
Jessie: Humph. Hmmm. I wonder.  
Taylor: Wonder what?  
Jessie: Well, Mary came back here, after we disgusted her with a scheme to terrible to mention, right?  
Taylor: (Catching on) Right. And we've been having a serious discussion, for the most part. Except for the laughter.  
Mary: I don't get it.  
Jessie: Can you imagine what they're thinking?   
(The three young women from another time and place laugh.)

---


	5. Chapter 5

**The Light at the End of the Escape Route**

**A/N**: Hi everybody! Welcome to part three of the continuing Escape Route saga. That's right, this is a part three. If you want to read it alone, go for it, but no complaining if you don't understand what's going on. Nimeria (my co-author) and I recommend that you read parts one and two first. And as I just stated, Nimeria is my co-author. Yep, this is just as much hers as mine. We write this together via MSN messenger, hence the format and the irregularity of posting stories. (The irregularity of posting chapters is entirely my fault. College seems to make you lazier than the rest of the population. Heehee!) Please feel free to let us know what you think! - Bann and Nimeria

**Disclaimer**: Neither Nimeria nor I own anything that is mentioned, discussed, referred to in passing, or blatantly stated. We don't own any of the characters, and we don't own the settings. We do, however, own ourselves (and the third original character owns herself as well). If we did own them, we wouldn't be wasting our time writing fanfiction and going to school. Mostly because there would be this whole new galaxy to go play in, and all these really awesome people to meet. But just because we don't own them now doesn't necessarily mean that sometime in the near future that we won't! Stay tuned for more information on that front! And now, on to the chapter…

**Chapter 5**

Shep: Look, I'm telling you. We've checked that one before.  
McKay: They're giggling again.  
Shep: (Looking up) Mary doesn't seem to be angry at all anymore. Do you suppose she talked them out of it?   
McKay: Whatever it was.  
Shep: Whatever terrible, horrible, disgusting thing.  
McKay: Well. (He looks at the group, who are now eyeing the men in a funny manner) I sincerely hope so.  
Shep: Taylor wouldn't do anything horrible.  
McKay: Really?  
Shep: I know she wouldn't. ...Probably. Unless she had a Really good reason.   
McKay: A really good reason, like, say, her non-relative twin thought it would be funny and she agreed?  
Shep: (Hesitates) I-well-no. I mean...(Pauses and seems to be remembering what happened in front of the locker rooms the morning before) Ah...um...  
McKay: Okay, when even you, who assigns nasty, disgusting jobs to anyone who dares to comment ill about her, can't trust her, then I worry.  
Shep: (Unknowingly he raises his voice as he seeks to refute McKay's claims.) It's not that I don't trust her. It's just that she has a mischievous side. I trust her. I do. She won't do anything too bad. Nothing to worry about. (He ends decisively as he seems to have reassured even himself) Besides, Evans, Franklin, and Vendam had it coming to them for a long time. That was just the last straw.

---  
(Back with the girls.)  
Jessie: Did you hear that?  
Taylor: Of course I heard it. (Blushing slightly) I'm not deaf.  
Mary: Wow. He's...wow.  
Jessie: What did he mean that Evans, Franklin and Vendam had it coming?  
Taylor: (Giving Shep an apprising look out of the corner of her eye) Oh I have a feeling I know.  
Mary: What?   
Taylor: It's nothing, Mary. Don't worry about it. (She looks back at Mary, smiling brightly) Trust me.  
Mary: I trust you. You know that...but really. So there are three people out there with something against you?  
Taylor: No. Not...no.  
Mary: Something against us then?  
Taylor: I told you not to worry about it.  
Mary: I'm not worrying.  
Taylor: Good.  
Jessie: Are you done now?  
Mary: Yes, sure, fine.

---  
(Back with the guys)  
McKay: Well you were awfully loud.  
Shep: Really that loud?  
McKay: Well, they're conspiring with one another aren't they?  
Shep: What did I say? Did I say anything I shouldn't have?  
McKay: (Looks him up and down) You are paranoid. You do know that right?  
Shep: I'm not paranoid.  
McKay: Oh! Here comes Taylor!  
Shep: (His head turns) What?  
McKay: (Laughs as he fiddles with his laptop) Pa-ra-noid.  
Shep: (Annoyed) I'm not pa-ra-noid. Stop accusing me.  
McKay: Sure there fly-boy.  
(Shep glares daggers at him.)  
McKay: Look. Can we get back to work now? I think we're almost done, and if I have to tell the girls one more time that we're not making headway I think they're going to kill me.  
Shep: (Glad of the change of topic) Sure. Let's see, we were here...(He points to a glowing conduit)...weren't we?

---  
(2 Hours later)  
McKay: Okay, and try that one again. (An exhausted-looking Sheppard pokes a button in a way that shows he's pushed this button at least twenty times now. A whirring sound fills the Jumper and the Jewel-powered-device lights up.)  
Shep: Please tell me that's a good thing.  
McKay: I think so. We're good to go. Time to get the girls. (He glances over to where Mary is refereeing a sword fight between Taylor and Jessie who are using poles that they found in the hallway.)  
Jessie: En guard! (She lunges forward and Taylor counters)  
Taylor: Avante! (She counter lunges and stumbles as Jessie goes invisible.) What the... Mary! She's cheating. (She trips forward as Jessie reappears behind her.)  
Mary: Foul. Two points to Taylor.  
Jessie: But she phased through the table earlier.  
Taylor: Yeah, and then through the floor because I was so off balance I couldn't concentrate on solidifying again.  
Mary: Still...  
Taylor: I phased through the Floor!  
Mary: Two points revoked from Taylor.  
Jessie: Hah!  
Taylor: But-(Stops as Jessie lunges for her again)  
McKay: Right. You can, uh, you can get them.  
Shep: Oh, no. You get them while I start the Jumper.   
McKay: But- (Sheppard glares) Okay, okay. Sheesh. Afraid of your own girl-  
Shep: Now McKay!  
(McKay wanders over to the girls, keeping out of range of the poles.)  
McKay: Having fun girls?   
Taylor and Jessie: YES!  
Mary: Can we go home now?  
Taylor: You're not having fun?  
Mary: I keep getting hit when you two miss each other. No. This is not fun for me.  
Jessie: You should have said something.  
Taylor: Yeah!  
Mary: And spoil your fun?   
McKay: Well, Sheppard and I did get the jumper up and running.   
Taylor: Really?  
Jessie: Wow!  
Mary: That's impressive.   
McKay: You didn't think we could do it?  
Taylor: Not this fast, nope.  
Jessie: Never.  
Mary: I did kind of think we'd be here longer.  
Jessie: So we can get back now?  
McKay: I'm still a little fuzzy about how we got here in the first place, but hopefully we'll be back in time for dinner.  
(Jessie and Taylor drop their poles unceremoniously and skip, yes...skip, to the jumper. Mary and McKay follow.)  
McKay: So, who won?  
Mary: Not so-   
Taylor: I DID!  
Jessie: I DID!  
(The twins glare at one another and start bickering.)  
Mary: -loud.  
McKay: Oops.   
Mary: Yes oops.  
Taylor: Wait. Stop. (Jessie immediately falls silent) We're twins, yes?  
Jess: Yes.  
Taylor: And what one knows both know and one feels both feel and so on and so forth?   
Jess: OH. So then no matter who wins...we both win.  
Taylor: Exactly.  
McKay: (Wisely being quieter now as the four of them settle into their seats.) By that same logic, don't they both lose?   
Mary: Yes, but we don't tell them that.  
Shep: Everybody sit tight. We aren't entirely sure this is going to work so hang onto something.  
(Taylor and Jessie grab tight to arms of their chairs. McKay grabs hold of wall and Mary grabs hold of the backs of the twins' chairs.)  
Taylor: Out of curiosity, what are the chances we're going to explode and die?  
McKay: Very very slim or I wouldn't be letting flyboy here try this.  
Jessie: That's reassuring.  
McKay: Look, you-  
Mary: She meant that seriously.   
McKay: What?  
Shep: It did sound sarcastic, Mary.  
Taylor: It did not.  
Mary: Can we just hit it or whatever and get out of here before they start arguing again?  
Shep: Right. (He closes his eyes and they all wait patiently as nothing happens)  
McKay: Whenever you're ready.  
Shep: I'm trying. Nothing's happening.   
McKay: Alright, alright. Hang on (He gets up to go check the connections, thinking maybe they'd been kicked when the girls came in earlier. Taylor gets up to help him.) No, you stay put.  
Shep: Hey, something weird is going on here with the dash.  
Jessie: Taylor, come here for a second. (Taylor, confused about where to go, stumbles as she spins around with each new voice. She stumbles forward, trips over a wire and falls against the Jewel's enclosure.)   
McKay: NO!! (Taylor quickly gets off the device and for a moment it seems as if nothing had happened, but then Sheppard speaks.)   
Shep: You may want to come look at this Rodney. Looks like you got that thing hooked up just fine.

(Taylor and Rodney spin around to stare out the forward view screen to see a beach.)  
Taylor: Ooooooooooh fuzz…  
(Taylor sits heavily in one of the seats.)  
Jessie: I see sand. And water. Unless Atlantis has been renovated with a Hawaiian theme, I think this is not good.   
Taylor: I have no idea, I mean I just sorta fell down, and ...(she looks up at McKay worriedly) ...You're not going to yell at me are you?  
McKay: No. Not really.  
Mary: Really? That's not like you.  
McKay: Look. I'm tired and hungry and by some mistake AGAIN we find ourselves Not where we were Supposed to be, but I have a Long day ahead of me so I Don't Feel Up TO SHOUTING RIGHT NOW!   
Shep: Jeez. Calm Down Rodney. It's not like we're anywhere horrible. We're on a beach! Beaches are good.  
McKay: Don't get me started on the lack of sun protection-  
(Mary motions to the girls and the three stealthily walk right past the arguing men. They walk along the beach a ways until the sounds of the argument fade.)   
Taylor: (Plopping down into a sitting position on the sand) I'm really sorry guys.  
Mary: Well, look at it this way. We're on a beach. It's sunny. It's pretty. And you're reclining. You know how you love to recline.  
Jessie: You do love to lie around.  
Taylor: What? It's not like all I do is sit.  
Mary: Well, no, but you have proven that you're very, shall we say, susceptible to gravity.   
Taylor: What are you two talking about?  
(Jessie and Mary share a look and a smile.)  
Jessie: Uh, Twin? Tell us. What are you doing right now?  
Taylor: Lying on my back on a nice sandy bea- Wait! How did I get to be lying down?  
Jessie: Gravity either loves you and likes to pull on you more than anyone else or it hates you and likes to make you suffer.  
Taylor: (Struggling to sit up and failing.) What are you talking about? (She flops back and just gets comfortable.)  
Mary: Every time you sit, you end up reclining. Every time. And now you can't even sit back up.  
Taylor: Oh, well...  
Jessie: I think you've probably just gotten so used to it that not only do you not notice, you just don't even consider fighting anymore.  
Taylor: ...Is it bad that I don't consider this a problem?  
Mary: No. Like Jessie said, you just gave up on fighting a long time ago. It's really very...normal. For you, at least.  
Taylor: I'll bet other people find it odd.  
(Mary shrugs)  
Jessie: I don't think your little mister John Sheppard has noticed.  
Taylor: Jessie Please! That sounds so...yuck. You get to call him that when I wear pink frilly lace of my own free will.  
Jessie: I'll remember that.  
Taylor: Mary? Little help here?  
(Mary shrugs again, and is looking into the vegetation a little walk away from them.)  
Jessie: (Looking where Mary is looking) Nice forest.  
Taylor: Mary? What are you looking at?   
Jessie: Hey, what is that?  
Mary: You see it too?  
Jessie: Yeah.  
Taylor: What are you two talking about?  
Mary: Look into the trees? See anything?  
Taylor: (Looking) I see trees. Some more trees. Oh look! Trees.  
Jessie: Come on, you don't see it?   
Taylor: (Looking harder) More trees. Trees and trees and tr- uh, some light?  
Mary: Yeah.  
Jessie: Looks odd huh?  
Taylor: Yep. Especially how it's moving.  
Jessie: Kinda like it's walking around.  
Taylor: Yeah.  
Mary: We should go look at it.  
Taylor: Should we get the guys?  
(The girls all look back at the jumper. McKay is fiddling with something, Sheppard with another, and both are clearly not through berating one another.)  
Jessie: You'd think arguing was their pastime.  
Mary: So, we should go look at it alone then.  
Taylor: It is shiny.  
Jessie: It looks friendly enough.  
Mary: We can always run away screaming bloody murder and the guys will be right there.  
(With that the girls get up - Taylor requiring some help - and wander into the woods just off the beach.)

---


	6. Chapter 6

**The Light at the End of the Escape Route**

**A/N**: Hi everybody! Welcome to part three of the continuing Escape Route saga. That's right, this is a part three. If you want to read it alone, go for it, but no complaining if you don't understand what's going on. Nimeria (my co-author) and I recommend that you read parts one and two first. And as I just stated, Nimeria is my co-author. Yep, this is just as much hers as mine. We write this together via MSN messenger, hence the format and the irregularity of posting stories. (The irregularity of posting chapters is entirely my fault. College seems to make you lazier than the rest of the population. Heehee!) Please feel free to let us know what you think! - Bann and Nimeria

**Disclaimer**: Neither Nimeria nor I own anything that is mentioned, discussed, referred to in passing, or blatantly stated. We don't own any of the characters, and we don't own the settings. We do, however, own ourselves (and the third original character owns herself as well). If we did own them, we wouldn't be wasting our time writing fanfiction and going to school. Mostly because there would be this whole new galaxy to go play in, and all these really awesome people to meet. But just because we don't own them now doesn't necessarily mean that sometime in the near future that we won't! Stay tuned for more information on that front! And now, on to the chapter…

**Chapter 6**

(As the women wander through the trees, following the light…)

Jessie: Where do you think we are?  
Taylor: Dunno.   
Mary: Well, the first jump kept us in the same room, but dragged us back in time. This one moved us elsewhere, though. Based on what we know, which isn't much, we may still be at the same time. However, we may well have jumped in time again. Looking around, I can't see Atlantis so we're either when the city was still sunk. On a different planet entirely, or just somewhere where the city can't be seen.  
Taylor: What now?  
Mary: We could be anywhere and any when.  
Jessie: Now why didn't you just say that the first time?  
Voice Behind Them: Would you have let it go if she had?

(The three of them spin around in amazement at the voice and stare in yet more amazement at the sight that greets them. Jessie, surprisingly, is the first to recover.)  
Jessie: You're glowing.  
(The voice belongs to a woman, who now walks forwards toward them.)  
Woman: (Smiling) Yes. I am.  
Jessie: Why are you glowing?  
Woman: As you would put it, it comes with the territory.  
Taylor: Who are you?  
Woman: No one of consequence.  
Mary: Wait. Didn't I see you out of the corner of my eye when we first came through the event horizon the very first time?  
Woman: Yes.  
Taylor: So...you were kind of the person who brought us here?  
Woman: (Smiling more) Yes, Taylor.  
Jessie: You don't say much, do you?  
Woman: I have been told that before.  
Jessie: By whom?  
Woman: You, actually.  
Jessie: What?  
(Three figures, older than Taylor, Jessie, and Mary, but no where near as old as the Woman who may or may not be an ancient/ascended, step forward. The three figures become clearer as they come into the lighted area. They are three women. One of them with blonde hair smiles kindly at the three younger girls,)  
Blonde: I'd forgotten how much younger we looked then we actually were.  
Mary: We? (She shifts her gaze in confusion to the oldest of the three who has light brown hair.)  
Brunette: Do you really not recognize us? Is it that hard to see?  
Blonde: Oh, leave be. You couldn't figure it out then either.  
Jessie: It's us. (At the same time) Remaining woman: We're you.  
Taylor and Mary: What?!  
Future Mary: It's true. We're you from the future.  
Jessie: That is so cool.  
Taylor: It sounds confusing.  
Future Taylor: It is.  
Glowy Woman: I'll leave you to talk, but remember …(she directs her gaze to the older set of three) We are here for a reason. We have a limited amount of time.  
Future Jessie: Don't worry. If I recall, Shep and Rodney don't even notice we're gone until we come back.  
Mary: They don't?  
Future Taylor: No. Shep was very upset with himself. (She looks at her younger version) Be nice to him about it; he tends to beat himself up even for the little things.  
Taylor: I've noticed. It's sweet.  
Jessie: It's cute.  
Mary: They don't even notice?  
Future Mary: (Chuckling) You'll quickly learn that when Shep and Rodney banter, little else exists.  
Future Jessie: No kidding.  
(Future Mary and Future Jessie share a look and smirk in a not-quite evil manner.)  
Future Mary: Of course, with SOME people around, that happens more often than not.  
Future Jessie: Yep. Whether Rodney's there or not.  
Future Mary: Yeah. Those two just go off into their own little world.  
Future Jessie: As if nothing else matters. Wouldn't you say so Mary?  
Future Mary: Indeed I would Jessie.  
(The Taylor, Jessie, and Mary from the present look at one another with general confusion: more so than the kind brought on by seeing themselves as future themselves.)  
Future Taylor: Now stop it you two. You promised that you wouldn't act now like they did then...even though they were us. And we're them. And...um...  
Future Mary: (Patting Future Taylor on the head) There, there, Taylor. Best to stop now before your brain implodes.   
Future Jessie: Yeah, we really don't have much time. Isn't that right?  
(The question was posed to the Glowing Lady, who is standing off to the side watching this exchange with a smile. She nods.)  
Future Taylor: Right. (Cough)Meanies.(Cough)  
Future Jessie: Hey!  
Future Mary: Okay now you three.  
(The women from the present take a moment to realize that now they are being addressed.)  
Mary: Yes, uh, me?  
Future Mary: So. You know how you, well us really, but for general speaking terms we'll call you you, don't know where our, or rather your, powers came from, as of yet, right?  
(The three present women stare at her. Jessie blinks.)  
Future Jessie: Ok, so you don't know where your powers came from right? The truth is that you, yes you, are going to go back in time and give it to yourselves. Understand so far?  
Taylor: Ummmm...No. No I don't actually.  
Jess: Nuh-uh.  
Mary: Maybe. What you're saying is that we don't know where our powers came from, but we're going to go back in time and somehow administer them to ourselves.  
Future Mary: Yes.  
Taylor: How?  
Future Taylor: (gesturing towards the Glowy Woman) Misty here-  
Jessie: Her name is Misty?  
Future Jessie: No, but we call her that because we can't say her real name.  
Jessie: Oh.  
Future Taylor: As I was saying, on your next jump through time and space, you will find yourselves in Mary's backyard. The time is our - and by our I mean Jessie and mine - Senior year of High School. I believe it was around Christmas.  
Future Mary: (nodding) It's the Christmas Moviefest. Jessie actually showed up. We were all very shocked.  
Future Jessie: You'll have to hang around for a bit and avoid being seen until the younger versions of ourselves in the house fall asleep.   
Future Taylor: You should be okay in the backyard if you cloak the Jumper, I don't think that was a "Let's pitch lighted firecrackers into the backyard for fun" year.  
Future Mary: Just kill time. Keep quiet though. As soon as the "us"s in the house fall asleep, Misty will show up and give you further instructions on what to do.  
Mary: Is it absolutely imperative that we have these powers?  
(Future Mary reaches over and thwacks Mary on the back of the head.)  
Mary: Okay! Okay! Sheesh.  
Future Mary: Yes it's imperative. Without the powers Atlantis wouldn't have been saved-  
Future Taylor: Probably.  
Future Mary: -and the mission to get our guys from the hive ship would have never even been attempted because their absence wouldn't have been noticed until too late!  
Taylor: Whoa, you just thwacked yourself.  
Mary: I'm sure I deserved it and-  
Future Mary: -it wasn't even that hard.   
Jessie: ...Creepy.  
Future Jessie: It's not so bad on this side of the timeline.  
Future Taylor: Focus girls. You know what you have to do?  
Taylor: Yep. But, uh, are you sure we're going to land in the right time and place?  
Future Mary: Yep. Rodney will explain it off as a coincidence, which it is really. But since we, as in the future "you"s, know that it's going to happen, it's a sure thing.  
Mary: And then we wait for Misty to tell us what to do. Right.  
Taylor: The guys are never going to believe us.  
Future Jessie: Let's see. If I remember correctly, they haven't really done any work to get it fixed yet.  
Future Taylor: So all you have to do is touch the device and you'll get fwooshed, and then they'll have to believe you.  
Mary: Fwooshed? That's not a real word.  
Future Mary: You can stop trying. They never do listen.  
Future Jessie: But you never stop trying Mary.  
Future Mary: Well, who said that the rule of "No one ever listens to me" doesn't apply to me?  
Misty: (Standing upright again from where she'd been meditating) It's time to go. You cannot stay here any longer. I must return you to your own time.  
Future Jessie: Already?  
Misty: Yes.  
Future Taylor: But it's so nice here.  
Future Mary: (Sighing and looking at her counter part) They never grow up.  
Mary: I'd be more worried if they did.  
Misty: (Turning to the younger set of girls) Just go back to the Jumper and activate it. It will take you to where you need to be. Do any explaining you need to do upon arriving at your destination. I advise having someone be in the front to cloak the Jumper.  
Taylor: Right. We'll see you in a few then?  
Misty: Yes.  
Jessie: Will you know to be expecting us?   
Misty: Yes, of course. Goodbye. (She and the future three form a circle and vanish in a flash of light.)  
Taylor: That was cool.   
Mary: We need to go back. I'll poke the thing.  
Taylor: I'll do the cloak.  
Jessie: I'll be the distraction.  
(The three women stroll through the forest back toward the beach.)  
Mary: Well, wow. So we give ourselves our powers. Neat-o.  
Jessie: Neat-o?  
Taylor: So, if the guys haven't seen that we're gone they're probably going to lecture us on leaving when they see us come back.  
Jessie: ...Neat-o? Who says neat-o?  
Mary: I do.   
Taylor: Jess, distraction?  
Jessie: Right. I'll keep their attention on me while you sneak into the front and Mary pokes the jewel.  
Taylor: Uh, oh. Well, I know I've been learning how to fly those things but I'm not sure I can cloak them as quickly as we'll need to.  
Mary: You could call Sheppy up front to get him away from the argument, and when you do that I'll give it a poke.  
Taylor: Sounds like a plan!  
Mary: Jess?  
Jessie: I think it's Neat-o! (She giggles and Taylor soon joins in.)  
Mary: (Smiling) Oh hush.   
(The women break through the trees and back onto the sandy ground, not far from the Jumper. Taylor and Jessie are still giggling, and the sound causes both McKay and Sheppard to look up from their positions where they were trying to figure out how to fix the jumper. Sheppard gave the girls an angry glare.)  
Shep: Where did you go? Why did you just take off like that? You don't know what's out there! (Taylor breezes easily past Rodney and into the Jumper)  
Taylor: We're fine. Obviously.  
Shep: Luckily is more like it. You could have been hurt! (He follows her into the front of the Jumper. Jessie walks up to Rodney.)  
Jessie: So did you fix it yet?  
Rodney: No.  
Jessie: Do you know what's wrong with it?   
Rodney: No.  
Jessie: So how are you planning to fix it if you don't know what's wrong with it?  
Rodney: (Letting out an irritated sigh, he turns to look at Jessie) Look-  
Mary: (Noticing the opening the twins have managed to create perfectly with Shep busy chastising Taylor for taking off and Rodney attempting to explain the inexplicable to Jessie) Perfect. (She lunges forward and pokes the Jewel powered device with a-) Poke.  
(Suddenly Rodney and Sheppard grew very quiet and both, simultaneously looked at Mary with pure horror.)  
---


	7. Chapter 7

**The Light at the End of the Escape Route**

**A/N**: Hi everybody! Welcome to part three of the continuing Escape Route saga. That's right, this is a part three. If you want to read it alone, go for it, but no complaining if you don't understand what's going on. Nimeria (my co-author) and I recommend that you read parts one and two first. And as I just stated, Nimeria is my co-author. Yep, this is just as much hers as mine. We write this together via MSN messenger, hence the format and the irregularity of posting stories. (The irregularity of posting chapters is entirely my fault. College seems to make you lazier than the rest of the population. Heehee!) Please feel free to let us know what you think! - Bann and Nimeria

**Disclaimer**: Neither Nimeria nor I own anything that is mentioned, discussed, referred to in passing, or blatantly stated. We don't own any of the characters, and we don't own the settings. We do, however, own ourselves (and the third original character owns herself as well). If we did own them, we wouldn't be wasting our time writing fanfiction and going to school. Mostly because there would be this whole new galaxy to go play in, and all these really awesome people to meet. But just because we don't own them now doesn't necessarily mean that sometime in the near future that we won't! Stay tuned for more information on that front! And now, on to the chapter…

**Chapter 7**

Taylor: John! Focus! Cloak us NOW!  
(The tone of her voice brought all of Sheppard's military training back in full force and he found himself complying before he had a chance to ponder why.)  
Rodney: What?? Why would you DO that?!?  
Jessie: There there. We just had to do it this way. We were told to do so actually.  
Sheppard: (Walking into the back of the jumper, followed by Taylor) What? Told by whom?   
Taylor: Us, actually.  
Mary: Really, we're just confusing them. Start from the beginning so it'll be somewhat less confusing while I go make sure we're here.  
(Mary exits the jumper and walks into the darkness beyond.)  
Sheppard: Wait! Mary!  
Taylor: (Restraining Sheppard from following her) It's alright, she knows where she's going.  
Rodney: How? How could she possibly know what's out there?  
Jessie: Well, it Is her back yard...assuming we did it right.  
Taylor: Just sit down, both of you, and let us start from the beginning okay?  
(The guys comply, thoroughly lost and more than a tad angry.)  
Taylor: So, when you two were bickering before-  
Rodney: We were not Bickering!  
Taylor: -we decided to walk off and give you both some space.  
Jessie: And then while we were sitting we saw this light in the trees and decided to follow it.  
Sheppard: Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?!?!  
Taylor: And when we got to the light we found that it was a woman. Who glowed. We call her Misty.

Rodney: You know glowing people?  
Taylor: Well...  
Jessie: We will soon.  
Rodney: What?  
Taylor: Later. Just keep listening. Misty was with older versions of ourselves-  
Shep: Older versions of yourselves?  
Taylor: You know if you keep interrupting like that we're never going to get anything explained.  
Shep: Sorry. I'm just trying to figure how you thought it would be a good idea to go wandering off by yourself. That-  
Taylor: Is incredibly dangerous. Yes, I know. I hate to ask...but did you even notice we were gone?   
Shep: I-well-I...?  
Taylor: (Sighing and going to sit by him, she leans her head on his shoulder reassuringly) It's okay. You were busy.  
Shep: I should have noticed.  
Rodney: As touching as this is, can you get on with why Mary poked the thing?  
Jessie: Well, apparently this is how we get our powers.  
Rodney: What?   
Jessie: Misty, the Glowy Lady, is going to meet us here and then somehow or another we're going to give ourselves our powers.  
Shep: Oh. That's confusing.  
Taylor: Yeah. We know. The point is that right now, we're in Mary's backyard during Christmas break of our (She gestures between herself and Jess) senior year of high school.   
Rodney: That was a while ago was it?  
Jessie: (Giggling) Wouldn't you like to know?  
Taylor: (Grinning) Jessie, come now. Play nice. It wasn't...overly recent.  
Sheppard: That doesn't say much.  
Jessie: (Attempting to control her giggling.) That was the point.  
Taylor: So you understand right?  
Sheppard: We're in Mary's backyard, of her house on earth, in the past. And some glowing woman is going to show up and tell you how to give yourselves powers.  
Rodney: Isn't this a time paradox? Shouldn't this not be possible?  
Jessie: Well, older versions of us visited us and nothing went "boom" so we should be okay.  
(Mary walks back into the jumper.)  
Mary: Alright girls, did you explain everything?  
Taylor: I think so.  
Jessie: Are we asleep yet?   
Mary: Well, you're actually there, so at least we got the year right. You're asleep already, on a pile of manga I do believe.   
Taylor: Hah! You're asleep first. Oh, what time is it?  
Mary: I dunno. It's too dark inside to see the clock, but The Return of the King is near where the Army of the Dead shows up, so I'd guess fourish. And you and I, Taylor, are playing catch with a pop bottle. Which is empty. And you just tried to drink it with the cap still on. Maggie reached for it and mumbled something about giving her a drink of the sludge, so it has to be a bottle of Sierra Mist Free. That's the only thing she's ever referred to as sludge.  
Taylor: (Nodding) So...five to ten minutes before we're both out?  
Mary: About that.  
Jessie: Man, I miss all the fun.  
Taylor: Well, if you had showed up to more Moviefests you'd be used to staying up more. Actually, four is early for us to sleep.  
Mary: I don't know. Maybe this was the one where we made the grog too strong and were running laps around the house.  
Jessie: The one where we duct taped you to a chair?  
Mary: No, that was at Maggie's house.   
Jessie: Ah  
(The guys look at each of the girls in turn, more lost then ever.)  
Taylor: (Noticing their confusion) Mmm. Mary, is this a firecracker year or not?  
Mary: There didn't appear to be any in the yard.  
Taylor: (She nods, stands up and pulls Shep after her as she walks out into the yard) Come on. I'll explain out here. (She sprawls across the picnic table) This is Mary's house. This is the picnic table at Mary's house that I usually lay on when we're outside.  
Rodney: You lay on a table?  
Jessie: She lies on just about everything, including the reclined chair that's been tilted to a forty five degree angle.  
Taylor: What can I say, gravity loves me. Anyhow. Normally, at Moviefests we're up until...around...sixish, then we grab a bit of sleep. Only, one year we made our favorite sugary punch too strong, were running laps around the house, and then we pretty much crashed.  
Mary: Taylor and I are almost always the last two to fall asleep.  
Taylor: Usually around the time I try to drink out of empty bottles that still have caps on them we've got around five to ten minutes before we finally give up and fall asleep.  
Rodney: (Peeking in the window) You have a lot of friends.  
Jessie: (Joining him) Hey. Everyone's there. Melissa and Sarah and Maggie and Becca and Rachel and Alanna and us of course. Oh and Muffin, too.  
Shep: (Joining them at the windows) Muffin?  
Taylor: (As she walks over) Her real name is Ashley, but we call her Muffin.  
Jessie: Actually her full nickname is quite a deal longer than that. (Noticing something) She has her driver's license.  
Mary: Muffin driving?  
Shep: That's an interesting mental image.  
Taylor: It's a terrifying thought.   
Rodney: There's a two gallon tub of cookie dough on the floor. It has ten spoons in it.  
Mary: So?  
Rodney: (Confused) There's only about a gallon of cookie dough left...and none of the spoons have been used.  
Mary: It's extremely hard to keep track of one's personal spoon. Fingers are easier because they never leave your hand.  
Rodney: (Disgusted) Ugh! That's...unsanitary! You could catch viruses like that! (He snapped his fingers)  
Mary: I don't think we've ever passed anything around? Maybe a cold.  
Taylor: Yep. Hmm. Normally we don't leave the cookie dough out when we sleep though.  
Sheppard: Isn't it bad to eat?  
Taylor: Only if it has eggs in it. They do sell it without.  
Mary: (Looking inside, making 'tsk'ing noises) That's going to be hard to clean in the morning.  
Jessie: You mean Sarah's iPod that's sitting in a puddle of spilled soda?  
Mary: Yep. If anything happens to her source of OK GO she goes ballistic.  
Taylor: We asleep yet?  
Mary: Probably by now, yeah.  
Sheppard: Now what do we do?  
Mary: Wait.  
Jessie: (Giggling) This is fun. Can we mess with Mary while she's asleep?  
Taylor: If I can remember where I left the duct tape that year I suppose we could.  
Mary: I hope you don't expect me to help you with that.  
Rodney: Wait, what are we waiting for?   
Mary: Misty.  
Misty: Yes?  
(Everyone spins around to see the glowing woman standing behind them.)  
Shep: That was creepy.   
Misty: My apologies Colonel Sheppard.  
Rodney: Still creepy.   
Misty: And to you Dr. McKay.  
Jessie: Are you trying to freak them out on purpose?  
Misty: (Surprised) Why would I do that?   
Taylor: Because it's fun. Do you happen to know where I left the duct tape this year?  
Mary: (Sighing) Taylor I can see it from here.  
Taylor: (Spinning back to the window) Oh?  
Mary: It's around your wrist, like always. Though from the number of duct taped items around the room I doubt you'll have enough left for it to be useful for much. You alone are wearing three bracelets, two anklets and a choker. You have three duct taped bottles of soda, one of water, and a small tub of cheese puffs lying near you. That's just your area. Should I continue to the others?  
Taylor: I'll pass thanks. So no messing with us. Okay.  
Shep: I knew you liked duct tape but...  
Jessie: She gets really bored so she starts taping anything within reach. Then she wants to make it stick to her hand. Then she doesn't want it to stick to her hand.  
Taylor: (Defensively) I lose coherency when I get tired.  
Shep: Yet you use words and phrases like "phenomenon" and "time/space relativity" and you use them correctly no less.  
Taylor: I said I lost coherency, not IQ points.  
Mary: So, Misty, what do we do now?  
Misty: (Smiling) I have been warned - by yourselves - to brace you for this. So, be prepared.  
(The girls share a look of incredulity. McKay steps closer to the group. Sheppard readies his weapon.)  
Mary: Prepared for what?  
Misty: This. (She pulls from the depths from her robe three vials, all three a cloudy and fluorescent pale yellow-green.)  
Jessie: Whoa.  
Taylor: Thanks for the warning. That's just cool.  
(Sheppard relaxes.)  
McKay: What are those?  
Misty: These vials hold the essence of the girl's powers.  
Sheppard: Did you have to be so dramatic?  
Taylor: Sorry.  
Shep: (Looking at Taylor, confused) You didn't do anything.  
Taylor: I'm kind of guessing I had her do it.  
Jessie: (Reaching over and taking one of the vials from Misty) It does sound like something you would do.  
Taylor: (Noticing the look on Mary's face) What?  
Mary: It just sorta looks like radioactive sludge.   
Taylor: Sludge? Sludge like Maggie's Sierra Mist Free Sludge?

Mary: Something like that, I'd imagine.  
Misty: Would you prefer pink? I can change its color if you like.  
Mary: No, no, it's fine. Just...sludgeish. That's all.  
McKay: Sludgish? Sludgish? You call that Sludgish? That looks like yellow-green concrete mixed with mud and radioactive waste!!  
Mary: I though I said that.  
Rodney: You most certainly did not. You said-  
Shep: That's enough, Rodney! Look, Misty was it?  
Misty: (Sighing) Misty will do.   
Shep: Right. What exactly are you expecting the girls to do with those vials of...sludge? (He glares at her and unconsciously shifts more towards the three women, his gun still pointed at Misty)   
Taylor: Could you maybe be a little nicer? I already told you what we're doing here.  
Misty: It's alright, Taylor. He's confused and trying to protect you.  
Jessie: He could still be a little nicer. (She sends Shep a pointed look. With a sigh, the man lowers his gun and runs his hand through his hair.)  
Shep: Sorry.  
Misty: As I said, it's quite alright.  
Rodney: What is going on?!  
Shep: Rodney what did I tell you?  
Mary: She-who-we-know-as-Misty, would you please explain everything from the beginning, in small words, so that we can understand you?  
Rodney: (Whispering to Sheppard) Is she mocking Misty or us?  
Misty: Of course. These vials, as I have said before, contain the essences of the girl's powers. Since the younger versions of the girls from this time period are now asleep, we can begin our work to give them their powers.  
Jessie: (Inspecting the vial she holds) Which vial is which?  
Misty: They all contain the same ...substance... which binds to your individual DNA and gives you unique abilities  
Rodney: Substance? What kind of substance?  
Misty: You would not understand if I tried to tell you.  
Rodney: (Indignant) What? I'll have you know that-  
Misty: (Holding up a hand) Be at peace, it was you yourself who admitted as much to me.  
Rodney: What? I, oh. Well ...alright.  
Sheppard: So we have the creepy looking vials.  
Taylor: That are somewhat cool.  
Sheppard: Now what?  
Misty: The girls simply administer the vials to their younger selves.  
Sheppard: Administer how exactly?  
Misty: The substance is drunk.  
Rodney: And this deadly-looking glowing junk is not, in fact, deadly. Right?  
Misty: There are some after-effects. Slight headache. Aversion to light and sound for some little while. Also, a slight giddiness is how you would say it.  
Taylor: So That's why we never noticed it.  
Jessie: Well, yeah. All normal after-movie-fest stuff.  
Mary: And after we force our unconscious, younger selves to drink this?  
Misty: It would be wise to wait for a moment and make sure that there are no ill-effects, to ease the minds of Colonel Sheppard and Doctor McKay, and then simply activate the Jewel one last time.  
Taylor: And then we go back to Atlantis? (Misty smiles and disappears in a blinding flash of light) Um...

---


	8. Chapter 8

**The Light at the End of the Escape Route**

**A/N**: Hi everybody! Welcome to part three of the continuing Escape Route saga. That's right, this is a part three. If you want to read it alone, go for it, but no complaining if you don't understand what's going on. Nimeria (my co-author) and I recommend that you read parts one and two first. And as I just stated, Nimeria is my co-author. Yep, this is just as much hers as mine. We write this together via MSN messenger, hence the format and the irregularity of posting stories. (The irregularity of posting chapters is entirely my fault. College seems to make you lazier than the rest of the population. Heehee!) Please feel free to let us know what you think! - Bann and Nimeria

**Disclaimer**: Neither Nimeria nor I own anything that is mentioned, discussed, referred to in passing, or blatantly stated. We don't own any of the characters, and we don't own the settings. We do, however, own ourselves (and the third original character owns herself as well). If we did own them, we wouldn't be wasting our time writing fanfiction and going to school. Mostly because there would be this whole new galaxy to go play in, and all these really awesome people to meet. But just because we don't own them now doesn't necessarily mean that sometime in the near future that we won't! Stay tuned for more information on that front! And now, on to the chapter…

**Chapter 8**

Mary: I'm not sure whether to take that flashy exit as a "Yes" or "I'm going to leave now so I don't have to inform you that the answer to your question is no."  
Jessie: Could be either...could be both.  
Rodney: How could it possibly be both?  
Shep: We're traveling around the space/time continuum named François in a puddle jumper powered by a jewel, Rodney. I think it can be both.   
(The women giggle)  
Taylor: I think we're going to be stuck in this game of historical leap frog for a very long time.  
Jessie: Why must you always be so pessimistic?  
Taylor: Because I hate irony.  
Shep: That doesn't make sense Taylor.  
Mary: She hates irony. Therefore irony hates her. Therefore, the world is constantly ironic to her and nothing every goes the way she wants it to go. Therefore, everything goes wrong. Therefore as long as she's pessimistic and thinks things will go wrong, they go right.  
Rodney: Okay. So...reverse psychology on irony?  
Jessie: Exactly.  
Mary: The irony of the situation is that just when she thinks she's gotten the hang of the irony of things always going right, they start going wrong again  
Shep: That's depressing.  
Taylor: (Smirking) I know. My explanation would have been that Jess sucks all the optimism out of existence and into herself so there's none left for me. This, before you ask, is ironic because she's always so morbid and I'm...not. Usually not at least.  
Mary: I like my explanation better. It's winding and confusing and twists more than something that twists a lot.  
Jessie: We know.  
Mary: Any who. We've got the vials, (She hands the remaining one to Taylor) and we've got us. Shall we?  
(They walk up to the door.)  
Sheppard: (Trying the handle) It's locked.  
Jessie: Of course it's locked. Like we'd sleep with the door open to let all the axe-wielding maniacs inside.

Sheppard: So, we gonna phase through the door?  
Mary: Oh please. It's my house. (She walks forward and fiddles with the door, which then opens.)  
McKay: How'd you do that?  
Mary: Like I wouldn't know how to break into my own house.  
(Sheppard moves forward to walk in and is stopped by Taylor.)  
Taylor: Hold on. It's best to let your eyes adjust since we can't really turn on a light.  
Sheppard: I thought you said you were all asleep.  
Jessie: We are, but Sarah would wake up if you turned on a light.  
Sheppard: Ah. Who is Sarah?  
Jessie: (Pointing) She's the one in the armchair.  
Taylor: (Tilting her head) I'm sprawling again.  
Mary: You always sprawl Taylor.  
McKay: Shouldn't we be, oh I don't know, whispering so we don't wake the "little you"s up?  
Mary: Nope. Not really. Talking, laughing, poking, being pelted by cheese puffs, and screeching death cries of various movie characters; we can all sleep through it. Oh, Taylor, remind me to put the cookie dough away when they can see and we go in.  
Taylor: Right. Wouldn't want breakfast to go bad.  
Sheppard: (Incredulous) As soon as "they" can see?  
Jessie: Yeah. We can see fine, actually. (Points) I'm part cat.  
Taylor: (Snickering) Dangling things beware; Jessie has arrived to bat at you.  
Rodney: She actually does that?  
Mary: (Quietly picks up a ribbon off the floor beside the door and walks up behind Jessie) She does.  
Jessie: I do not!  
Mary: (She dangles the ribbon in front of Jessie's face. Jessie immediately starts batting at it.) What was that again?  
Taylor: Be nice to my twin, Mary.  
Shep: Uh, Taylor you were the one who brought it up.   
Taylor: That's different. As twins we taunt and tease each other constantly.  
Mary: But I'm the Overlord.  
Taylor: Twin-link trumps overlord.  
Rodney: Jessie, can you stop doing that?   
Jessie: No. I. Can't! (Continues batting at it)  
Rodney: Surely it isn't so fun that you-  
Jessie: Taylor. Help. Please. Make. It. Go. Away!  
Taylor: (Walking over and taking the ribbon from Mary's hand, shoving it in her pocket) Got it.  
Jessie: Thank you.  
Taylor: Welcome.  
Mary: Sorry. (Giggles) It's just so amusing.  
Jessie: Not to me!  
Mary: (Recovering from the giggling and ignoring the glares she's getting from both little ones) So, gentlemen, are we ready to go in now?  
Sheppard: Lead the way.   
(Mary and Taylor walk in, Jessie behind them. Jessie turns)   
Jessie: Just be careful not to step on anyone, ok?  
Rodney: Why can't you be normal and sleep in beds?  
(Now inside the room, Sheppard and Rodney look down at the mess around them)  
Maggie: (Groggily) Cooooold!!! (She looks up toward the door and the people standing in it. Sheppard and Rodney have frozen in place. Jessie and Taylor are carefully making their way across the room.) Maaaaaaary. Close the doooooooor.

Mary: Yes, Maggie. Sorry. (She closes the door)

Maggie: (Still groggily) Who are they?

Mary: They're no one. You're just dreaming, Maggie.

Maggie: Oookay. Sleep now. (She rolls over and goes back to sleep.)

Rodney: This is bad. She saw us.

Mary: I wouldn't worry about it too much. She won't even believe it was anything more than a dream in the morning.

Sheppard: Really? She just believes that?  
Taylor: Would you believe that doubles of three of your best friends as well as two strange men crept into the house at four in the morning if there was no proof otherwise?

Sheppard: Well, no.

Jessie: Exactly.  
Sheppard: (Looking around the room) Wow. I count...twelve bodies.  
Mary: (Leaning over one) No, wait, this is Melissa. Where am I?  
Taylor: You're over here remember?  
Mary: Ah yes. Right.  
Jessie: I found me. Oooooh, and my manga.  
Taylor: Come on Jess, you've read all of those already. Multiple times.   
Jessie: I know. They're still manga though.  
Mary: So, bottoms up yes?  
(The girls pour the radioactive, semi-concrete, fluorescent sludge down their own throats.)  
Jessie: Done.   
Taylor: Done too.  
Mary: Cool. Now we wait.  
Taylor: Cookie dough.  
Mary: Ooh right. Thanks for the reminder. (She picks it up and walks over a few people and pillows and bags and food trays, grabbing dirty dishes as well) While I'm in the kitchen, can I get anyone anything?  
Taylor: Mary!  
Jessie: (Laughing at her twin's reaction) I'm good.  
Mary: (Looking at Taylor) What's wrong? I understand, sort of, your irritation with my helpfulness at your own house, but this is my house. I have the right to be helpful and whatnot.  
Taylor: This is the past, Mary, the past! You can't cater to us in your house if we're in the past!  
Rodney: But it's her house?   
Mary: (Smiling) Taylor, your logic makes sense only to you. Now, would either of you two gentlemen like something since Jessie is fine and Taylor is now pouting inwardly?  
Shep: (Giving Taylor a bemused look) No thanks.  
Rodney: Normally, I'd say yes but...(Looking around the room) who is that over there closest to the TV?  
Mary: (Squints) Ah. Wearing lots of black and surrounded by miniature fluffy pastries. That's Muffin.  
Rodney: Does she realize that her foot's about to fall into that bowl of chips?  
Shep: Well, considering that she's asleep, Rodney, somehow I don't think so.  
Mary: It's normal. Feet in chip bowls, arms in pizza boxes. Such is the result of sleeping on the floor with food right next to you so that you don't actually have to get up to go get it.  
(Mary leaves the room and returns with drinks and hands them out.)  
Mary: Here you go.  
Taylor: (Taking one) Mary...you really don't have to run and get us pop.  
Mary: I didn't.  
Taylor: What?  
Mary: I got you soda.  
Taylor: ...Pop.  
Mary: Soda.  
Taylor: (Turning to Jessie) Jess, pop or soda?  
Jessie: Taters!  
Taylor: Pop or soda? Taters is not a viable answer.  
Mary: Oh never mind.   
Sheppard: Uh, thanks for the drinks.  
(Taylor walks over to the loveseat that her younger self is reclining on, picks up her feet, sits, and replaces her feet on her lap. Mary laughs.)  
McKay: What's so funny?  
Mary: Taylor is reclining on Taylor! I love it! Oh, yeah, have a seat if you like. Jessie? Pass the chippy chip chips please.  
Jessie: (Looking around her) The cheese puffs or the Doritos?  
Mary: Puffs please.  
(Jessie picks up the tub of cheese puffs and throws it at Mary. She catches it, stares at it, and laughs some more before sitting down on a body-less piece of floor.)   
McKay: (Exasperated) Now what?  
Mary: The puffs will protect me!  
Shep: Umm... What?  
Taylor: Mary! Stop mocking me. (All three women are laughing)  
Shep: I repeat, what?  
Taylor: It's a Moviefest thing.  
Rodney: What does it mean?  
Jessie: I'm a little lost myself.  
Taylor: It's a Moviefest thing.  
Jessie: But I don't get it.  
Mary: You weren't at that one Jess.  
Jess: Oh.  
Shep: I'm lost.  
Taylor: GAH!! It's a Moviefest thing. You wouldn't understand it if I explained it because there isn't anything to understand.  
Shep: Oh.  
Taylor: (Realizing she'd just yelled at him she sends him an apologetic look) Sorry.  
Shep: S'alright. Have we been here long enough to be assured of no ill side effects?   
Mary: I believe so.  
Rodney: So we can go then?  
Jessie: Yep.  
(Taylor carefully removes herself from under the legs of herself as the others get up. Mary returns the puffs to their original location and Jessie replaces the manga she'd picked up back on the pile. Taylor walks over to Sheppard who pulls her against his side, knowing she was still irked at herself for yelling at him like that. Rodney makes his way out of the house and into the backyard as quickly as possible. The others follow bemused, Mary somehow managing to relock the door behind her.)

---  
(Back in the jumper)  
Sheppard: So, ladies, did Misty...uh...or you...tell yourselves how to get us home?  
Mary: Yep.  
Jessie: Ooh, can I? I wanna do it!  
Taylor: But we've had our turns, Jess. And the guys would probably like it.  
Jessie: (Whines) But Taaaaayyyyyy...  
Taylor: (Whines back) Jessieeeeeeee...  
Mary: Tell you what Jessie. I'll let you poke it when we get back once it's been disconnected from the thingy with the flanges and the whatnots. Fair?  
Jessie: (Semi-sulkily) ...Fair.  
McKay: So...there is poking involved? Of the jewel? How does that work?  
Taylor: We don't know.  
Mary: Poke it and see.  
Sheppard: And that will...?  
Taylor: Take us back.  
Sheppard: How do you know?   
Mary: Because.  
McKay: So...I poke it?  
Jessie: Yep. Give in to the will to poke.  
McKay: Poke how?  
(Jessie reaches over and pokes McKay in the arm)  
McKay: Ow! Hey, I bruise easily!   
Taylor: She was just demonstrating. Just poke so we can go.   
Mary: (Looking out of the HUD) Yeah. Before we wake up and decide to make brownies and muffins.  
Taylor: Did we bake back now?   
Mary: There were boxes on the counter.  
McKay: Stupid baking habits of sleep deprived - (He reaches out his hand to poke the jewel.)  
Jessie: NO WAIT!!!!!  
(Everyone jumps.)  
McKay: What???  
Jessie: (Smiling) Nothing.  
Taylor: Jess!  
Jessie: Payback for not letting me do it.  
McKay: (Under his breath) Get me out of here. (Pokes the jewel)

---


	9. Chapter 9

**The Light at the End of the Escape Route**

**A/N**: Hi everybody! Welcome to part three of the continuing Escape Route saga. That's right, this is a part three. If you want to read it alone, go for it, but no complaining if you don't understand what's going on. Nimeria (my co-author) and I recommend that you read parts one and two first. And as I just stated, Nimeria is my co-author. Yep, this is just as much hers as mine. We write this together via MSN messenger, hence the format and the irregularity of posting stories. (The irregularity of posting chapters is entirely my fault. College seems to make you lazier than the rest of the population. Heehee!) Please feel free to let us know what you think! - Bann and Nimeria

**Disclaimer**: Neither Nimeria nor I own anything that is mentioned, discussed, referred to in passing, or blatantly stated. We don't own any of the characters, and we don't own the settings. We do, however, own ourselves (and the third original character owns herself as well). If we did own them, we wouldn't be wasting our time writing fanfiction and going to school. Mostly because there would be this whole new galaxy to go play in, and all these really awesome people to meet. But just because we don't own them now doesn't necessarily mean that sometime in the near future that we won't! Stay tuned for more information on that front! And now, on to the chapter…

**Chapter 9**

(Back in Atlantis in the jumper bay that used to house the Time Jumper, Zelenka and a group of scientists are taking readings…still. Elizabeth walks in, and after a moment is noticed.)  
Zelenka: Ah, Doctor Weir.  
Weir: How's it coming?  
Zelenka: Still nothing. We're getting nothing, and there's no way to know. It's probable that the time jumper just...jumped time.  
Weir: (Looking around at the scientists taking readings) You and your team look exhausted. Have any of you gotten any sleep?  
Zelenka: Yes...some. We take shifts.   
Weir: Have you taken one of these...shifts?  
Zelenka: Ah...no. Is very delicate work we are doing to try to figure out what happened.  
Weir: You just told me that you think the jumper jumped time.  
Zelenka: Is best case scenario.  
Weir: Worst case?   
Zelenka: They've been disintegrated. (Weir raises her eyebrows) Fortunately is much less likely than-

(He is cut off as there is a whooshing sound and the missing jumper appears before them, luckily managing to miss the various scientists who'd been standing about the room)  
Weir: You were saying? (The girls come bouncing out the back talking animatedly about things no one else can quite make out, Sheppard walks past them with a slight smile and up to Elizabeth, Rodney remains in the Jumper looking at the Jewel and the device) Colonel?  
Shep: Yeah. This is...ah... (He gestures at the Jumper as if doing so will explain to her everything) ...Let's just say it's a very long story.  
Weir: I can imagine. You look exhausted. How long was it for you?  
Shep: Mmm...two, two and a half days. You?  
Weir: Four.  
Rodney: (From inside the Jumper) Is Zelenka out there?  
Zelenka: (Rolling his eyes to the amusement of John and Elizabeth) Yes, Rodney. I am here. (He walks cautiously past the animated girls and towards the Jumper's entrance) What is it you need?  
McKay: We need to get this (He gestures to the Jewel) unattached from the jumper.  
Zelenka: Of course. (He reaches forward and grabs the jewel)  
McKay: NO!   
(Everyone in the room stops and stares while the girls and Shep cringe.)  
McKay: (He opens the eyes he shut and straightens up from his physical cringe,) Wait. No. Why didn't we jump?  
Zelenka: (His hands still on the jewel from when he froze) I made mistake?   
Taylor: Why didn't you jump?  
Zelenka: (Still not moving) This could make it jump?  
McKay: Yes. Move. (Waves at Zelenka, who lets go of the jewel) ...Oh this is bad.  
Weir: Rodney?  
McKay: I think it's depleted.  
Zelenka: You depleted the jewel?  
Weir: Rodney, take a look at it please. Zelenka, you can go get some sleep now. Colonel, ladies, if you're able let's go to my office and you fill me in.

---  
(Later, in Dr. Weir's office)  
Sheppard: ...and we waited around for a few minutes to make sure we didn't poison them.  
Taylor: Who were us.   
Sheppard: We got back to the jumper-  
Jessie: When we didn't die.  
Sheppard: -and McKay jabbed at the thing and we showed up back here.  
Weir: Well. That sounds like quite the trip. Do you have any idea why the jewel would stop working now?  
Taylor: Maybe it doesn't like Zelenka.  
Mary: Well it's not just for us. McKay did use it after all.  
Taylor: True.  
Jessie: Maybe it is depleted after all.  
Mary: It could have been set to stop once we got back. It doesn't mean that it was depleted necessarily.  
McKay: (Walking into the room, his laptop in hand as usual) Yes. It does.   
Weir: Rodney?  
McKay: There's nothing left. It's gone completely dead. Unless somewhere in the ancient database there are recharging directions, we just pretty much destroyed the best offensive weapon we've found yet.  
Taylor: Would we have actually used it?  
Weir: Debating the morals and ethics of such a decision seems a moot point now. Rodney, I'm not going to ask you to specifically look for information, but if you find some, it will be welcome. Now, all of you go get some rest. You look like you could use it.  
(They get up and walk out, Sheppard hanging back with Taylor, while Rodney discreetly makes his way towards the labs and Mary and Jessie walk in front of them already plotting the next day's activities.)  
Shep: They never stop do they?  
Taylor: Ah...no. It's an "us" thing. Always planning. You know, we planned our summer road trip around the US three years before we actually did it?   
Shep: I didn't. What else did you plan?  
Taylor: World Domination. Several plans for that one. One of them actually included me getting into NASA after college and then sneaking them in while our friend Melissa got elected president which basically put us in walking distance of every offensive weapon in the US.  
Shep: That's actually a little scary.  
Taylor: (Chuckling) I know what you mean.  
Shep: What did you get a degree in that you would have gotten into NASA?  
Taylor: I haven't quite finished yet actually.   
Shep: No?  
Taylor: Nope. I procrastinate.  
Shep: What is it in?  
Taylor: Nuclear Physics. Before you ask (He closes his mouth) Jessie has a psychiatry major and Japanese minor and is working on her own doctorate. Mary was just out of Ortho grad school, getting ready to buy her first practice.  
Shep: Ah.  
Taylor: Are you okay? You're acting kinda off.  
Shep: What? No, I'm fine. (She waits patiently for him to continue, knowing perfectly well he'll tell her eventually. In front of them she hears Jessie mention helicopters and flat roofs and smiles slightly. Shep finally speaks again) It's just...earlier...when we were talking to Elizabeth. You asked if 'we' would actually use the jewel. Not 'you' as in us. 'We' as if you were including yourself.  
Taylor: Is that a problem?   
Shep: No. I just...did you mean it the way it sounded, or was it just a slip?  
Taylor: Shep, even if they do somehow manage to convince the people that Jess, Mary and I aren't things to be studied, I don't really intend to go back.  
Shep: You'd abandon everything?  
Taylor: (Shrugging) This place is home now. Yeah, I'm gonna miss my friends and my family but...I want to stay. I think Jess and Mary feel the same.  
Shep: You'd give up a doctorate in Nuclear Physics, your friends, your family, and everything to stay here? Even world domination?  
Taylor: Yes, even world domination. (Laughing) I don't think I need to tell you how amazing this place is.

---  
(Up ahead, Jessie sneaks a look back at the pair walking behind them.)   
Jessie: Mary?  
Mary: Hmm?  
Jessie: How much longer do we have to let them talk alone? I mean, we're walking as slow as humanly possible here.  
Mary: Leave them be. Besides, they're having a nice conversation away from prying ears.  
Jessie: Only because you won't let me listen in.  
Mary: Of course I won't.  
Jessie: Why?  
Mary: Because if that were you and MiniJack back there you'd want us to do the same.  
Jessie: Hey! (She thwacks Mary's arm.)   
Mary: (Shrugs) I speak the truth.  
Jessie: Hmph.  
(They walk on in silence for a bit longer.)  
Jessie: (Looking back again) What are they talking about anyway?

---  
(Behind them)  
Sheppard: So, uh, Taylor. After you and the girls do whatever you're going to do tomorrow, would you be up to dinner?   
Taylor: Dinner? Sure.  
Sheppard: Great! Oh, do you like football? I've got this great football game taped.  
Taylor: Hmm. You'll have to explain it to me. It's interesting to watch but I never really payed attention to the games when I went.  
Shep: Then what did you do?  
Taylor: Talked.  
Shep: Through the whole game?!  
Taylor: Jessie and I talk a lot. We ramble. We can start talking about anime and end up talking about British literature. But that's not important. If you'll explain it, I would enjoy watching this game of yours.  
Shep: Great! I'll see you tomorrow. Meet me...my place...sevenish?  
Taylor: Sounds good.  
Shep: Right. See you. (He hugs her quickly before walking off towards his quarters)  
Taylor: (Smiling fondly, she walks faster to catch up with Mary and Jessie) He says we have too much energy. So what have you guys got planned for tomorrow?  
Mary: It depends.  
Taylor: On?  
Jessie: We need lots and lots of coins.  
Taylor: Why?   
Mary: You remember how we used to take pennies and coins to the mall fountain and throw it in just for fun? (Gestures out a nearby window) Biiiiig fountain.  
Taylor: But, uh, we have no money.   
Jessie: Well, there are other people here. Someone should have spare change.  
Mary: It's not like they need it.  
Jessie: Yeah, what are they going to spend it on? Cereal?  
Taylor: I suppose we could ask nicely.  
Jessie: (Giggling) Give us your money, or your life!  
Mary: (Smiles) Well, not that particular way probably.   
Taylor: (Rubbing her hands together) So, where do we start?

---


	10. Chapter 10

**The Light at the End of the Escape Route**

**A/N**: Hi everybody! Welcome to part three of the continuing Escape Route saga. That's right, this is a part three. If you want to read it alone, go for it, but no complaining if you don't understand what's going on. Nimeria (my co-author) and I recommend that you read parts one and two first. And as I just stated, Nimeria is my co-author. Yep, this is just as much hers as mine. We write this together via MSN messenger, hence the format and the irregularity of posting stories. (The irregularity of posting chapters is entirely my fault. College seems to make you lazier than the rest of the population. Heehee!) Please feel free to let us know what you think! - Bann and Nimeria

**Disclaimer**: Neither Nimeria nor I own anything that is mentioned, discussed, referred to in passing, or blatantly stated. We don't own any of the characters, and we don't own the settings. We do, however, own ourselves (and the third original character owns herself as well). If we did own them, we wouldn't be wasting our time writing fanfiction and going to school. Mostly because there would be this whole new galaxy to go play in, and all these really awesome people to meet. But just because we don't own them now doesn't necessarily mean that sometime in the near future that we won't! Stay tuned for more information on that front! And now, on to the chapter…

**Chapter 10**

(The next morning, the early risers who managed to crawl out of bed and the scientists who decided to have a bit of food before sleeping all stagger into the mess hall only to be bombarded by three women, obviously too cheerful for their own good, asking politely for any spare change.)  
Sleep Deprived Scientist #3: You want what?   
Taylor: (Patiently) Pennies. Quarters. (Notes the patch on his arm) Pence?  
SDS#3: What? Right. I've got some back in my quarters I think.  
Taylor: When you're done with your breakfast we'd much appreciate you giving us any...coins that you don't want back.   
SDS#3: What do you need them for?  
Jessie: World domination.   
SDS#3: Ah. Well that's alright then. (Wanders away to get food.)   
Taylor: This is going better than I thought it would.  
Jessie: Yep. Told you it'd be easy. Next one is mine.  
Mary: (Ignoring Jess's claim, she walks up to the next guy to walk through the door) Hello. How are you this fine morning?  
SDS #4: Ummm...Fine. You?   
Mary: Also quite fine thank you. I was wondering if you possibly had any spare (She glances at his arm patch) lira that you no longer require or want.  
SDS#4: I think so yes. Why?

Mary: My friends and I could use any spare coins the members of this excellent population have for an endeavor of ours. (She gestures to the younger two girls who are looking on in what seems an odd confusion).  
SDS #4: Oh. Well, sure. I'd be happy to help you out. I'll go back to my room after breakfast and fetch them for you. Would you like for me to bring them back to you here?  
Mary: Why, yes. That would be excellent. Thank you.  
SDS #4: You're welcome. I'll see you again soon. (Walks off smiling slightly at the antics of the women the majority of the city had become fond of)  
Mary: (Turning back to the twins) What's with you two?  
Jessie: That was...  
Taylor: Mary do you realize you were just speaking Italian?  
Mary: Was I?  
Jessie: Yes.  
Mary: Huh. That's odd. Oh well. Oh look. Here comes Ronan. I'll bet we get some cool alien coins off him.  
Jessie: (Skipping ahead of Mary) Ronan! Hi!   
Ronon: ...Hi.  
Jessie: Do you have any coins you don't want anymore?  
Ronon: What?  
Jessie: Coins. They're, uh, small and metal and shiny.  
Ronon: Bullets?  
Jessie: No, coins.  
Ronon: What are you talking about?  
Taylor: Sorry Ronon. We're just looking for pieces of currency that no one wants anymore.  
Ronon: Why?  
Mary: Because we've decided to act like small children today. (Seeing Ronon's look) Well, younger than we normally act like children.  
Ronon: I don't have anything like that. Can I go have breakfast now?  
Mary: Yep!  
(Ronon walks away and Taylor surveys the room.)  
Taylor: I think this must be the end of the early breakfast crowd.  
Jessie: We should sit and wait for the money to rain down upon us.  
Mary: Sounds good. Somewhere by the door so we can get stragglers.  
(The girls sit, and Taylor reaches over and pokes Mary.)  
Taylor: You.  
Mary: Yes?  
Taylor: You were speaking Italian.  
Mary: I really wasn't.  
Jessie: You really were. So was he. It was an Italian-fest and we weren't invited.  
Mary: I'm sorry.  
Jessie: It's okay. I don't like Italians anyway. They are, in general, too pansy. It took them many days to defeat Ethiopia when Ethiopia was armed with spears and Italy had planes and guns and things.  
Taylor: That you could probably just blame on bad strategy.  
Mary: You two be nice to the Italians.  
Taylor: We are nice to the Italians.  
Jessie: We're just mean to the idea of being Italian.  
Mary: It's the same thing.  
Jessie: It's not.  
Mary: It is too. Now hush. Here comes change.  
(A small woman with an arm patch of the British flag walks up carrying a small box)  
Small Woman: Here you go girls. (She hands the box to Taylor) All the change I could find. I don't need any of it back. Have fun.  
Taylor: We will. Thank you.   
SW: No problem. I'll see you 'round. (She walks off.)  
Jessie: So how much do we have?  
Taylor: Well, the box is pretty much full.  
Mary: Good! This is going to be fun.  
Taylor: So how much are we actually going to collect?  
Mary: Well, it does go very fast when we're throwing it into the water. I should think as much as we can get before we're bored of asking will be about enough.   
Jessie: Hey guys, I was wondering...  
(Another early morning person drops a plastic bag of various coins on the table.)  
Taylor: Thanks very much!  
Jessie: ...was wondering whether throwing coins of various denominations into an alien ocean would, you know, be bad.   
Mary: Like bad for the environment or bad as in against the rules or bad as in what if someone wants their money back?  
Jessie: Yes.   
(Pause)  
Taylor: Right. Well, they won't want their money back. We are making sure that everyone knows they won't be getting this stuff back.  
Mary: And so far no one has screamed in horror when we told them what we would be up to, so I'd bet that we're not doing anything illegal.  
Jessie: What about the environment? Chucking alien species of metal into an already thriving ecosystem?   
(There's another pause, and more change accumulates on the table in front of the girls.)  
Jessie: Danka!  
Taylor: Well...   
Mary: We could ask Rodney before we do it?  
Taylor: Yes! That! He'll tell us.  
Jessie: Well that's alright then.  
Mary: What were we talking about before?  
Taylor: What?  
Mary: Before we were talking about this.  
Jessie: Italians?  
Taylor: Which came from you having the ability to speak in different languages without noticing.  
Mary: One. One language. Maybe it was a fluke?  
Taylor: A fluke?  
Mary: Yes. (Taylor raises her eyebrows) Okay so it probably wasn't a fluke, but what am I supposed to do? It's not like there's someone I can go to in order to find out if my power is malfunctioning and if it is, what that means.  
Jessie: There's Misty.  
Mary: (Curiously) Do we know how to get a hold of Misty?   
Jessie: (Thinks for a minute) No.   
Taylor: I'll bet she'll be around when we need her to be around.  
Mary: So what you mean to say is...  
Jessie: She doesn't think the unconscious speaking of Italian on your part is anything to be worried about  
Mary: Ah. (Another person drops change on the table) Thank you.  
Taylor: So anyway. I have a date tonight. I think I forgot to tell you last night because we were planning this.  
Jessie: You did. So what are you doing?  
Taylor: Dinner and then some football movie.  
Mary: Football?  
Taylor: Yeah. Some game he's got taped. He's going to explain it to me, or try to anyway.  
Mary: I could tell you the basics of the game. You don't sit on the sidelines for four years and pick nothing up.  
Jessie: You're just saying that because your little brother played football. Otherwise you wouldn't know anything.   
Mary: Not necessarily true.  
Jessie: Oh really? Then tell me something about basketball, since you played in pep band for that too.  
Mary: Uh...they try to get the ball into the other team's basket?  
Jessie: And?  
Mary: Oh very well. You win.  
(Another person returns with change for the girls.)  
Taylor: Thanks!

---  
(Later that morning, Ronon wanders into the gym and sees Sheppard bench pressing in a corner by himself.)  
Ronon: Sheppard.  
Shep: G'morning Ronon.  
Ronon: You're never in here this early, of your own free will.  
Shep: I do occasionally wake up early for some weight lifting, I'll have you know.  
(Ronon eyes him suspiciously.)  
Shep: Alright, I'm hiding from paperwork. What have you been up to this morning?  
Ronon: Well, at breakfast the girls asked me for bullets.  
Shep: What?!?  
(Ronon catches the weights as they tilt off balance and threaten to hit Sheppard in the chest)  
Ronon: (Calmly replacing the weights on the rack) The girls asked me for bullets at breakfast.  
Shep: That was an "I hope you're kidding" what, not an "I didn't hear you" what, Ronon.  
Ronon: (Shrugging) I thought you should know. It was very...odd. They were very bouncy and smiley about it.  
Shep: Tell me you didn't give them any.  
Ronon: I didn't have any on me.   
Shep: That's...you mean you would have...never mind. I don't want to know. (Sighing he sits up on the bench)  
Ronon: You might want to go find them anyway. They were talking to just about everybody. Including the guys who were headed toward the 'Gate, fully armed, for a mission.  
Shep: What?!? (He gets up and sprints out of the room)  
Ronon: What kind of a "what" was that? (He waits a moment, shrugs, adds more weight to the bar and starts bench pressing)

---  
(In Rodney's lab, McKay and the three girls are alone. Mostly because everyone else has fled.)  
McKay: What? NO!!! Are you kidding? There could be serious ecological repercussions and-and-and something horrible could come of it!  
Jessie: Told ya so.  
Taylor: Shush. What kinds of horrible things could happen, really?  
McKay: Well, there, there could be anything from some kind of toxic chemical reaction to you pissing off a giant sea monster who doesn't like getting hit on the head with falling coins! We know remarkably nothing about this planet's indigenous life, let alone everything in the sea! You could be throwing the entire ecosystem out of whack! You could doom the entire planet!  
Mary: Statistically speaking, what are the odds that something like that would happen?  
McKay: (Thinking) Well… rather small actually.  
Mary: So the most likely outcome of us throwing coins into the water just for fun would be...?  
McKay: Probably nothing.  
Mary: So?  
McKay: Oh fine. Go and act juvenile. Destroy the planet. See if I care.  
Taylor: Great!  
Jessie: Cool!  
Mary: Thanks!  
(The girls leave the lab happily with their large bags (It was easier to carry the many, many coins that way.))  
McKay: Oh, this is going to go badly...maybe.

---  
(In the cafeteria)  
Sheppard: Lorne!  
Lorne: Yes colonel?  
Shep: Have you seen the ladies lately?  
Lorne: Uh, I'm assuming you mean your - the three ladies with the powers?  
Shep: (Slightly agitated at how long finding them is taking) Yes.  
Lorne: Yes sir. They were up by the control room. Said hello to 'em before I came to have breakfast, sir.  
Sheppard: Thank you.  
(Sheppard leaves.)   
Lorne: (Talking to himself) Gave them some change too. Hope I don't need it later. (He pauses, coffee halfway to his mouth) Oh man, if they go and install a coke machine now I'll be... well it'll be ironic.  
McKay: (Entering the cafeteria) Talking to yourself Lorne?  
Lorne: Only a little.

---  
(In the control room)  
Sheppard: What do you mean they're not here?!   
Weir: They were here, but they left awhile ago. I think they went to find Rodney.  
Sheppard: (Running off in the direction of Rodney's lab) Thanks.  
Weir: I really hope they find a better way to carry all that change. It must be so heavy.  
Control Guy: Yes, Ma'am.

---  
(In the hallway near Rodney's Lab)  
Shep: (Skidding to a halt) Zelenka! Have you seen the girls?  
Zelenka: I will assume from panicked look and frantic running about that you mean the three ladies with the gifts. Yes, I have seen them.  
Shep: (Out of breath) Recently?  
Zelenka: They went off towards the less used part of the city down near South Pier a few hours ago. The way they were talking it sounded like they would-(He stops as he realizes that Sheppard is already gone) be there for awhile. He could have at least said thank you.  
---


	11. Chapter 11

**The Light at the End of the Escape Route**

**A/N**: Hi everybody! Welcome to part three of the continuing Escape Route saga. That's right, this is a part three. If you want to read it alone, go for it, but no complaining if you don't understand what's going on. Nimeria (my co-author) and I recommend that you read parts one and two first. And as I just stated, Nimeria is my co-author. Yep, this is just as much hers as mine. We write this together via MSN messenger, hence the format and the irregularity of posting stories. (The irregularity of posting chapters is entirely my fault. College seems to make you lazier than the rest of the population. Heehee!) Please feel free to let us know what you think! - Bann and Nimeria

**Disclaimer**: Neither Nimeria nor I own anything that is mentioned, discussed, referred to in passing, or blatantly stated. We don't own any of the characters, and we don't own the settings. We do, however, own ourselves (and the third original character owns herself as well). If we did own them, we wouldn't be wasting our time writing fanfiction and going to school. Mostly because there would be this whole new galaxy to go play in, and all these really awesome people to meet. But just because we don't own them now doesn't necessarily mean that sometime in the near future that we won't! Stay tuned for more information on that front! And now, on to the chapter…

**Chapter 11**

(Out on a balcony off of the South Pier)  
Taylor: (Tosses a coin) Three.  
Mary: (Tosses a coin) Five.  
Jessie: (Tosses a coin) Twelve.  
Taylor: Twelve?  
Mary: It skipped twelve times?   
Jessie: No. I just felt like saying twelve.  
Mary: Why?   
Jessie: Because.  
Taylor: (Sighs) here we go.  
Mary: (Giggling) Thirty seven!  
Taylor: You didn't even throw anything.   
Mary: Oh. (She grabs a handful of coins from the sack nearest her and throws one into the water below) Thirty Seven!  
Jessie: (Tosses one that bounces off of the railing and lands on the balcony next to her) Uh...  
Mary: That'd be something like a negative nine.  
Taylor: This would be easier if we were standing.  
Jessie: Hah. Like that's even possible.  
Mary: True. You are Ms. 'I-Must-Recline-At-All-Times' Gal you know.  
Taylor: I am not!   
(Pause)  
Taylor: Alright. I know we were sitting. So how did I get to be lying down?  
Mary: (Silently mouthing) I-Must-Recline-At-All-  
Taylor: Fine, fine. Someday I'll prove you wrong. I don't Have to lie down or sit or be at some angle to the ground other than 90 degrees, you know.  
Jessie: Of course not Taylor.  
Taylor: I can be upright anytime I choose!  
Mary: We know.  
Taylor: (Tosses a coin) You're just being mean.  
Mary: Are not.  
Jessie: Are Definitely not.  
Mary: But you do make it so easy.  
(Mary and Jessie giggle at the face Taylor makes and are pelted with various coins.)  
Mary: Ow! My eye! I'm Blind!  
Taylor: (Confused) I didn't even hit your face.  
Mary: I know, but I like to say that.  
Taylor: You really are evil you know.  
Jessie: Well of course she is. We would only ever learn from the best.  
(The girls share a laugh which is suddenly interrupted by-)  
Sheppard: STOP!  
Taylor: What? What's wrong? (Manages to struggle to her feet)  
Mary: Stop laughing? (To Jessie) Did he mean stop laughing?   
Jessie: Dunno. How did he find us? (To Shep) How did you find us?   
Shep: I ran all over the city following tips from people going all the way back to Lorne.  
Taylor: Why?  
Shep: Bullets.  
Mary, Taylor, and Jessie: What?  
Shep: Bullets. I chased you all over the city because of the bullets.  
Jessie: I think he's lost it.   
Taylor: (To Jess) Hush. (To Shep) What bullets?  
Shep: The bullets. The ones you were... (He notices their confused looks) Ronon said...

(Taylor, Mary, and Jessie start giggling)  
Mary: (Smiling) Now it makes sense.  
Shep: Can you maybe explain it to me?  
Mary: Yep. First off, we didn't ask anyone for bullets. We were asking for their spare change so we could come out here and throw it off the balcony. As for Ronon, well, he didn't know what we were talking about so we rephrased the question and the way we described them he associated with bullets. Thus the confusion.  
Taylor: What exactly did you think we were doing out here with bullets and no guns?  
Shep: I was actually trying not to think about it. (He winces) Sorry.   
Jessie: It's alright. But go away now.  
Taylor: Jessie!  
Mary: I'm with her. He has a date with you tonight. He can have you then. (Shep and Taylor blush)  
Jessie: Ahhh!!! Mary. Bad images. Bad!! (She beats the back of her head to try to get the images to go away)   
Mary: I'm not sure who to thwack. The two of you for blushing or Jess for pointing it out so loudly.  
Jessie: My pain deserves to be vocalized.  
Mary: Get your minds out of the gutter. I didn't mean it like that.  
Taylor: (Laughing) Good.  
Shep: She had a point before that though. I'll go now and see you tonight.  
Taylor: Kay. (He hugs her quickly and then leaves, a faint blush of embarrassment still staining his cheeks)  
(As soon as Shep is far enough away, Taylor spins back around to face Mary.)  
Taylor: That was Awful of you! Did you see how embarrassed he was?!?  
Mary: It wasn't intentional, believe me.  
Jessie: Yeah, I kind of made it worse.  
Taylor: (Pointing at Mary) It was still your fault for saying it.  
Mary: Alright, if you insist.  
Jessie: Change of Conversation Topic!  
Mary: To what?  
Jessie: Anime.  
Taylor: (smiling, but giving Mary a brief "I won't forget this" look) Of course. Jessie lives and breathes anime.  
Jessie: As it should be.  
Mary: Do you have one anime in mind that we could discuss?  
Jessie: Death Note.  
Mary: Death Note? Is that the one with the homicidal toddler?  
Jessie: No, that was only in a Death Note fan fiction. I've seen the anime and I've read the manga. It's awesome.  
Taylor: I don't know Death Note.  
Mary: I'm not sure I Want to know Death Note any more than I already do.  
Jessie: You're just biased because of that fan fiction.  
Mary: (Shrugging) Hey. Creepy is creepy.  
Taylor: How about Naruto? We all like Naruto.  
Mary: I like what little I've seen.  
Jessie: (Happily) Gaara is mine!  
Mary: Yes dear, we know.  
Taylor: Whatever happened to the Naruto plushies you never went anywhere without?  
Jessie: They're in my room. Jack packed them for me   
Mary: (Giggling) That figures.  
Jessie: Can we get back to the Anime?  
Taylor: You have a one track mind don't you?  
Jessie: Only when it pertains to anime. Remember that one episode of Naruto when that one thing happened.  
Taylor: Can you be more specific please?  
Jessie: Episode 101.  
Taylor: (Laughing) Oh, that one. That was so ridiculous.  
Jessie: It was sort of stupid of them not to realize that he would have another mask under there.  
Taylor: So very true.  
Mary: Um, I'm little confused here.  
Taylor: Oh yeah, we never got to that episode when we had our Naruto mini-marathon thing did we? Well episode 101 was a filler episode.   
Jessie: Genin team 7 decided that they had to know what Kakashi's face looked like.  
Taylor: They came up with all these plots to look at it but none worked.  
Jessie: And then at the end they just asked him to take of his mask and underneath-  
Taylor: -was another mask.  
(Taylor and Jessie start laughing.)  
Mary: ...Right.   
Jessie: And remember in Shippuden when Sakura and Naruto were fighting Kakashi?  
Taylor: The look on Kakashi's face when Sakura hit the ground was hilarious.  
Mary: I still don't get it.  
Jessie: Ah, we're leaving boss-chan confused.  
Taylor: We can't have a confused boss-chan; that will destroy the fabric of the universe.  
Mary: ...No it wouldn't.  
Jessie: Just go with it. Let's see; what anime does boss-chan like? Fullmetal Alchemist?   
Mary: Too sad. I didn't finish it all.  
Taylor: And I've never seen it  
Jessie: Ok, Inuyasha.  
Mary: I like that one.  
Taylor: And I've seen that. Of course I never did get past season 2.  
Jessie: That's ok, but we can't really talk about it that much, in case you wanna go back and watch it.  
Taylor: No that's oka-  
Jessie: POKEMON! we'll talk about that. Everyone has seen Pokémon  
Taylor: You're kidding right?  
Jessie: Nope.  
Mary: (Giggling) This should be interesting.  
Jessie: So do we wanna start with the movies or the series. I can go either way. We can't really do the manga because that's totally different and I doubt you guys have read it.  
Taylor: Yeah...  
Mary: I've seen the first movie. I think. Did it have mew and mew two in it?  
Jessie: Yep. That was Pokémon the first movie.  
Taylor: And you that right off the top of your head because...?  
Jessie: I know all the songs from season 1 right off the top of my head.  
Mary: Oh no...  
Jessie: (She starts to sing) Everybody wants to be a master everybody wants to show their skill everybody mmhmm...(Her singing is muffled by the duct tape now across her mouth.)  
Taylor: (Putting away the duct tape.) And that's why I always carry around duct tape  
Mary: Smart. Let's limit the anime conversations for now.  
Jessie: (Still attempting to sing with duct tape over mouth even though arms are free) Mmmhmmm.

Taylor: I wonder about her sometimes  
Mary: We all do dear, but that's what makes her Jessie.  
Taylor: So where did we put our coins?   
Mary: Over here.  
Taylor: (Nodding) Right. I believe our last valid high score was five. Let's see if we can beat that.

---


	12. Chapter 12

**The Light at the End of the Escape Route**

**A/N**: Hi everybody! Welcome to part three of the continuing Escape Route saga. That's right, this is a part three. If you want to read it alone, go for it, but no complaining if you don't understand what's going on. Nimeria (my co-author) and I recommend that you read parts one and two first. And as I just stated, Nimeria is my co-author. Yep, this is just as much hers as mine. We write this together via MSN messenger, hence the format and the irregularity of posting stories. (The irregularity of posting chapters is entirely my fault. College seems to make you lazier than the rest of the population. Heehee!) Please feel free to let us know what you think! - Bann and Nimeria

**Disclaimer**: Neither Nimeria nor I own anything that is mentioned, discussed, referred to in passing, or blatantly stated. We don't own any of the characters, and we don't own the settings. We do, however, own ourselves (and the third original character owns herself as well). If we did own them, we wouldn't be wasting our time writing fanfiction and going to school. Mostly because there would be this whole new galaxy to go play in, and all these really awesome people to meet. But just because we don't own them now doesn't necessarily mean that sometime in the near future that we won't! Stay tuned for more information on that front! And now, on to the chapter…

**Chapter 12**

(Five hours later Taylor is standing in the middle of her closet, staring at her clothes with a helplessly overwhelmed look on her face)   
Taylor: Jessie! Mary! JESSIE!  
(The two other women come sprinting into the room. Jessie is holding a shoe and Mary a crow bar.)  
Jess: What is it? What wrong? Where's the danger?  
Taylor: (Stares at the two of them in confusion) Danger? Nowhere. I can't figure out what to wear for the date tonight. What does one wear to a football movie slash dinner date?  
Mary: You were screaming because you don't know what to wear?  
Jessie: (Sighing) She's overwhelmed by her clothes. (To Taylor) Go sit on the bed. I'll have a look.  
Taylor: (Going to sit on the bed) Mary...where did you get a crow bar?  
Mary: I have my resources.  
Taylor: Yes, but, a crowbar? Does anyone actually keep those things just lying about? (Mary smiles and says nothing) You're not going to tell me are you?   
Jessie: (From the depths of Taylor's closet) What kind of mood are we in today?  
Mary: I'd say...subtly flirty.  
Taylor: Uh, I don't know-  
Jessie: Floral?  
Mary: Not for a second date, probably. Not sequins either.  
Taylor: I happen to like flor-   
Jessie: Heels?  
Taylor: NO HEELS!  
(Mary and Jessie turn to stare at Taylor)  
Taylor: Uh, sorry. I'm a little wound up.  
Mary: That's alright danger-girl.  
Taylor: Danger girl?  
Mary: Yeah, that sounded better in my head. Because you sounded like you were in danger...no huh?  
Taylor: Nope.  
Mary: Doesn't hurt to try.   
Jessie: Here. How's this?  
Taylor: (Grabbing the clothes Jessie holds out to her as if they were the elixir of life) Jessie it's perfect! I owe you!  
Jessie: I take all major credit cards, cash, and first born children. No personal checks.  
Taylor: How about a promise to tell you any juicy details about MiniJack I can work out of anyone who may have ever met him?  
Jessie: That'll work.  
Taylor: Great. (Disappears into the bathroom to change) So anyway. Either of you have any words of wisdom or know what I should be expecting from a football movie slash dinner date?  
Mary: Pay attention and actually learn how the game is played this time. He seems to like explaining things to you. Don't make him regret it because you weren't listening.  
Jessie: But don't be afraid to change the topic. Guys tend to ramble on about football forever if you let them.  
Taylor: So find the happy medium?  
Jessie and Mary: Yes.  
Taylor: (Opening the bathroom door and stepping out) You know I'm no good at that. What do you think? (She turns to let them see. She's wearing pants for this date, but they're made to look like a skirt when she's standing still. Her shirt is a dark blue halter top. She's holding the dressy sandals in her hand)  
Jessie: He's gonna pass out.  
Mary: Mhmm.  
Taylor: He will not. He's a big tough military man.  
Jessie: He blushed.  
Taylor: Any guy with a sense of modesty at all would have blushed at what was said.   
Mary: You're big tough military man is going to be speechless at least.  
Taylor: (Thinks) No, probably not.  
Jessie: Stop being modest and join in the fun.  
Taylor: (Sighing) Fine. He's going to blush first, then stop speaking, then my ravenous beauty is going to go straight to his cerebellum and he is going to pass out when he forgets to breathe. How's that.  
Mary: An appropriate description.   
Jessie: I'd say. And then when you go to revive him like the worried girlfriend that you are, he's going to wake with himself being held in your arms. (She starts to giggle) And he'll pass out again for want of air.  
Mary: And then you'll be incredibly worried and will attempt to give him mouth-to-mouth, when he'll wake up again.  
(Now they all are giggling)  
Taylor: Yes, and then what?  
Mary: More fainting.  
Taylor: Come on, he's not the fainting all the time sort of guy. Big. Tough. Military.  
Jessie: So he'll find himself in your arms, jump up, and sweep you into a kiss?  
Mary: Or into a ballroom dance.  
Jessie: Does he Know how to dance?  
Taylor: Does it really matter as long as he's not fain- Passing out?  
Mary: 'Spose not.  
Jessie: Can we get it on tape?  
Mary: No stalking of the happy couple Jessie.  
Jessie: But we could make lots of money selling the tape!  
Mary: To whom?   
Jessie: To...uh...  
Mary: No one who wouldn't have heard of it already. I swear news travels faster than sound here.  
Taylor: That's physically impossible because the news would be sound. It can't travel faster than itself. It's ... illogical at best.  
Mary: Don't you have a date?  
Taylor: Yes. But I've got awhile. Besides...fashionably late. Remember? I'd thought we'd agreed that that was the policy if he wasn't going to pick me up for dates. Not that I want him to come get me. It's not like I'm going that far.   
Mary: Of course.  
Jessie: No, but really. Does he know how to dance?  
Taylor: I don't know. Does it matter?  
Jessie: Yes. The ability to dance in a formal setting is often indicative of a high level of education.  
Taylor: Jessie, the guy is practically a human calculator. I think we can safely assume that he has a high level of education. Not to mention, Air Force Academy. You kind of can't be uneducated to get in there.  
Jessie: That's not what I meant.  
Taylor: Then what did you mean?  
Jessie: I want to know if he knows how to "dance." Properly, I mean.  
Mary: What is she talking about?  
Taylor: I have no idea. Jessie...we're still not following you.  
Jessie: I dunno. It's just important.   
Taylor: (Rubbing her temples) Why?  
Mary: Alright, alright. If he can dance then there's no harm there. If he can't, I suppose if Jessie thinks it's Really necessary we can find someone to help him learn before the wedding. Does that sound like a plan?  
Jessie: I suppose so.  
Taylor: Who said ANYTHING about a Wedding?!?  
Jessie: Mary did.  
Taylor: What Wedding? There's no wedding! I should know if there was going to be a wedding in which I was going to be a participant!  
Mary: (Laughing) Breathe R2. I was just referring to some point in the far and possible but not quickly arriving future.   
Taylor: Don't jinx me like that. Not nice.  
Mary: Sorry Taylor, I meant no harm.  
Taylor: I know. It's just...weird and off-putting.  
Jessie: Is "off-putting" a word?  
Mary: I'm not sure.  
Taylor: It is now.  
Jessie: (Patting Taylor's shoulder) Let's see. How about we move on to another topic?  
Taylor: Like what?  
Jessie: Hair? What are you doing with your hair for the date?  
Mary: (Looking around the room) Oh, how about this? (She reaches over to the desk, picks up a hair clip, and tosses it at Taylor)  
Taylor: Ack! Mary! (Immediately begins putting hair up into the butterfly clip)  
Mary: What?  
Jessie: You gave her the hair clip. It was sitting over there on the frequently and constantly neglected desk for a reason.  
Mary: And what is that?  
Taylor: (Turning around to show them the back) How's it look?  
Mary: It's okay. You might want to...  
Taylor: (She grabs clip and adjusts it slightly) That?  
Mary: Better.  
Taylor: But not great? (Again attempts to fix it) Now?  
Mary: Still better. You know, you don't have to wear it.  
Jessie: Yes she does.  
Mary: Why?  
Taylor: The exact same reason I leave it over there on the neglected desk.   
Mary: And that is...?  
Jessie: If she has it, she has to wear it.  
Mary: No she doesn't. There aren't any laws saying that a person must wear a butterfly clip if they have one in their possession.  
Jessie: Not physically, no. But psychologically she is incapable of not wearing the thing if she has it.  
Taylor: A little help making this look good?  
Mary: No help for you. You can fight the hold the hair clip has over you!  
Jessie: Mary, have you lost it?  
Mary: Well, suppose that the entire argument is caused by the fact that the hair clip is, in fact, a sentient being.   
Taylor: Sentient meaning that it can think.  
Mary: Right. So if it's alive and can think then the only plausible way that it can have a hold over you is that it's psychic.  
Jessie: ...Right. Psychic hair clips.  
Mary: Just the one at the moment. Ooh! You think that they're all out there, grasping onto the minds of females everywhere, sucking out the thoughts and energy of the wearers? Maybe they're like the wraith but they suck brain thoughts instead of life force!  
Jessie: Right! Not only do they need to do so for sustenance, but they are doing it to learn our ways!  
Taylor: Learn our ways how exactly? (Staring at her hair clip in the mirror)   
Mary: They're psychic remember? Ooh, right. Well since you have one currently attached to your brain it's probable that it's affecting your memory. Poor thing.  
Jessie: Too bad we can't do anything to help you Taylor. But they're ferocious.  
Mary: Yeah, the hair clip in its natural habitat is a fearsome thing.   
Taylor: Look, as much as I'd love to hang around here and discuss the fear factor of a hair clip, I have a date. And I have a feeling that my date will be slightly dejected if I'm overly late. So I'll see you guys later. (She dashes out the door, sandals still in hand).  
Mary: Only Taylor would grab shoes to wear only once she reaches her destination.  
Jessie: She wears shoes about as often as she willing wears a skirt. Too many years of running around barefoot for her swim meets.  
Mary: Mhmm.  
Jessie: And you are absolutely sure we can't spy on their date? Maybe get McKay to hack into the cameras and what not for us?  
Mary: You think Shep has a camera in his room?  
Jessie: (Pauses momentarily) OH. No, I hope not. Can we follow them?  
Mary: No.  
Jessie: But-  
Mary: Hush. She's agreed to tell us about this one. Let it go at that.

---  
(Outside his quarters, Sheppard checks his watch for the seventh time)   
Sheppard: Okay, relax. She didn't stand you up. She's being fashionably late. Women do that. She'll be here. (He checks his watch) I hope she knows how to get here.  
(Roughly a block - or rather the length of what would be a block were this to take place somewhere that had blocks and wasn't on an alien planet on a floating mechanical, and possibly sentient city - from John's quarters, Taylor stops and puts on her sandals before walking the rest of the way like a sane woman.)  
Shep: (Seeing Taylor coming down the hallway) Hi there!  
Taylor: Sorry I'm late.  
Shep: It's alright. You're fashionably late. That's normal.  
Taylor: I didn't really mean to be fashionably late. Well...not This late anyway. I blame the hair clip.  
Shep: Hair clip? Er, the thing in your hair? Which looks very nice by the way. Come on in.  
(They walk into his room)   
Taylor: Yes, the hair clip. And thank you, you don't look so bad yourself.  
Shep: Do I want to know why the hair clip is at fault?   
Taylor: According to a burst of randomness from the overlord, hair clips are plotting the domination of the human species through their psychic powers.  
Shep: Because they're on your head? The psychic part I mean.  
Taylor: Probably. Sometimes it's hard to tell.  
Shep: Oh, good. That means it's not just me then.  
Taylor: (Laughing) No, its not just you. It's everyone. And I have to include myself in with Jess and Mary. I can be a bit random.  
Shep: Like asking Ronon for spare change in a way that made him think you wanted bullets?  
Taylor: Like only being partially surprised when you rushed out onto that balcony yelling at us to stop because Ronon thought we wanted bullets.  
Shep: (Rubbing the back of his neck) I really am sorry about that.  
Taylor: Don't be. You were being your protective "Don't do anything that could get you hurt" self. I've been told it's a natural trait that evolves in military commanders, or leaders of any type really, who are forced to live their lives in danger and have lost a lot of people.  
Shep: So you really don't mind?  
Taylor: On the contrary, (Moving to sit down at the table set for two with candles sitting on it) I'm the one who should be apologizing. Jessie and Mary put you into a rather awkward situation. I'm very sorry about that.  
Shep: Don't worry about it. I've had worse. (He sits across from her at the table)  
Taylor: Really? (He nods) Do tell.  
Shep: Well. With other, (He coughs self-consciously) dates. Or their fathers really. Apparently I look the type to ... well to be un-gentlemanly with their daughters.   
Taylor: Reeeally. (She smiles) Who would have thought?  
Shep: I can tell you that their fears were completely unfounded in all respects.  
Taylor: (Patting his hand) Of course they were. (She surveys the table) You know, this is the first time I've had a candle-lit dinner of pizza.  
Shep: It's alright isn't it? I mean, Duck L'Orange isn't exactly football food.  
Taylor: I kind of like it. Normal food. Good normal food too.  
Shep: You'll note the lack of salads.  
Taylor: I thank you.  
Sheppard: I...welcome...you back. (Taylor laughs) You know, this talking in non-grammatically-correct English thing of yours takes some getting used to.  
Taylor: I know. We even...no, wait. You were going to tell me about the dates' fathers.  
Sheppard: I think your topic is better.  
Taylor: You're just saying that because you're chicken.   
Shep: (Smiling into his drink) Yep.  
Taylor: (Grinning) Alright then. I'll be completely honest with you. We have established a language all to our selves. The Supreme Overlord Clan, my group of friends you saw at the Moviefest, has an official language.  
Shep: Do you really?  
Taylor: Mhmm. We sort of have to have one, you know? We spend so much of our time together outside of school hyped up on caffeine or sugar or both, watching movies and slurring our words together as we get more and more tired while trying to point out new analogies in movies we've watched a hundred times before.   
Shep: Yes, I can see why you might need a language to yourselves. Does it have a name?  
Taylor: I have to ask, what is it with you and naming things?  
Shep: (Shrugging) Just always done it. Can't really refer to something clearly unless it has a name.  
Taylor: True enough.  
Shep: Soooo...  
Taylor: (Smiling) No, it doesn't have a name. We tried to name it but...nothing really fit. The best we could come up with was "english-that's-gone-through-the-minds-of-too-many-of-us-to-not-become-part-of-everyday-speech-patterns talk" but that's really more of a description than a name.   
Shep: Would it be cruel for me to suggest that you and your friends need a hobby?  
Taylor: Nope. We think so too. But we have too many hobbies already.  
Shep: You at least have to give me examples. It's not just the weird sentence structures. You have those odd words too, like...  
Taylor: (through a mouthful of pizza) Curions.  
Shep: Hmm? I couldn't quite get that.  
Taylor: (swallows) Curions.  
Shep: But, that's what you said before.   
Taylor: I know. It's a word.  
Shep: Curions. What does it mean?  
Taylor: Curions means not using english properly. Using bad english. I curions. I just curions. Mary is curions. Jessie cuirions last week.  
Shep: But it's the same tense.  
Taylor: That's the beauty. Using english badly means it has no right tense.  
Shep: (Shaking his head in slight awe) Why do I get the feeling that what seems like mindless randomness and skin-deep things all actually have their place and purpose, and that they really do make sense?  
Taylor: Becaue they do. It's not that hard to accomplish you know.  
Shep: (Immitating Taylor) Do tell.  
Taylor: They all seem mindless and random on the exterior because that's how they began.  
Shep: And?   
Taylor: And then we create a definition or a back story for the thing or word or whatnot, and that gives it it's depth and placement.   
Shep: How do you mean?  
Taylor: Well...we do a lot of our communicating with each other through Instant Messaging. But none of us are the best of typists and sometimes we think words faster than our hands can correctly type them. What results is misspelled words that look like real words. So we give the new words definitions and add them to our language.  
Shep: So explain curions to me then.   
Taylor: Curions, I think, resulted from very very late night conversation. The word was supposed to be curious. We decided to give it the definition of improper english becuase we'd been grammatically horrible all night and our spelling abilities were nonexistent.   
Shep: That...almost makes sense. Almost.  
Taylor: Really? Well that's brilliant... explain it to me?  
Shep: (Laughs as she smiles) If I could, I'm thinking it wouldn't be the same after.   
Taylor: Prolly not.  
Shep: Prolly? That's not really fair you know. Can you use more regular English until I get used to your version?  
Taylor: Oh, sorry. Pro-ba-bly.  
Shep: (Smiling) I know. I like to tease you.  
Taylor: (Thwacking Shep's arm) Evil.   
Shep: Ow! (Rubbing his arm) That was my pizza eating arm too.   
Taylor: (Giggling) Oh dear. That means you'll never eat pizza again.  
Shep: (Looking mournfully at the pizza on his plate) But it looks so tasty.  
Taylor: Carson can fix you up. You'll be back to eating pizza in just a few weeks.  
Shep: (Joke-whining) But it'll be cold by then!  
Taylor: True. Cold pizza is good though.   
Shep: I'm looking at a hot piece of delicious pizza that I can no longer eat?  
Taylor: Yep.  
Shep: You could feed me you know.   
Taylor: (She gives it some thought) Hmm. Nope. Can't.  
Shep: (He uses his fake hurt look) But why?  
Taylor: Because you are evil and must be destroyed. (Shep laughs) I'm joking though. You're not going to be destroyed. You know that right?  
Shep: (Still laughing) Course I do.  
Taylor: Oh good. (Pause) You're still evil though.  
Shep: Why thank you. Such a compliment so early on in our date.  
Taylor: I do try.  
Shep: You succeed excellently. Brilliantly even.  
Taylor: You sounded British there. Your arm is alright isn't it?  
Shep: (Laughing) It's fine. (He demonstrates by picking up the slice of pizza before him and biting into it, swallowing before asking) British you say?  
Taylor: Mhmm. I would know.  
Shep: Why is that?  
Taylor: Many many years of watching British television. Plus the year of study abroad.  
Shep: A whole year?  
Taylor: I missed my flight back.  
Shep: On accident?   
Taylor: Decidedly not. It's nice over there.  
Shep: So I hear. Never been to England. France once or twice. Sweden and Italy. Never England.  
Taylor: It's lovely. Jessie and I had barrels of fun with the guards.  
Shep: I'm really not surprised.  
Taylor: Neither was anyone else.  
Shep: So what kinds of British television, then?  
Taylor: Doctor Who, Monty Python, Sherlock Holmes, a few other things.  
Shep: Not that I'm complaining here, but you've seen tons and tons of movies and television, but you've never, ever, watched football. How is that even possible?  
Taylor: I've watched it, in the sense that my eyes were open and I was facing in the direction of the game. Never really understood it though. Seeing as how most of my football games were spent with the band, it never seemed crucial.  
Shep: But you don't hate the game?  
Taylor: Nope. I rather enjoy watching it.  
Shep: You enjoy watching something you know nothing about?  
Taylor: Well I know that there's a ball. And it's football-shaped, hence it's a football. And there are two teams who want the ball to go into the other team's...end zone thingy. And there are a lot of ways to get it there. Right?  
Shep: Wow.  
Taylor: What?  
Shep: Just...wow.   
Taylor: I can't tell. Are you making fun of me?  
Shep: Nope. Just...just wow.  
Taylor: Now you're starting to sound like me. This is good. Soon you will comprehend most of what I say.  
Shep: Not everything?  
Taylor: I don't even comprehend everything I say.   
Shep: Ah. Well...Shall we move to the couch and get started with the game then?  
Taylor: Yes, let the tutorial begin.

(They move to the couch, taking the pizza and pop with them, and Sheppard gets the video going.)

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The End

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**A/N**: Part Four Coming Soon! Don't forget to review! Let us know what you think!  
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